


12 Days of Christmas

by miltonicsimile



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, Denial of Feelings, Drinking, Forced Proximity, Hot Tub, If i randomly change the title i apolgize in advance lol, Implied Sexual Content, Johnny and Hyuck are stepbrothers, M/M, Skiing, Slow Burn, Snowed In, Soulmates, Unrequited Crush, developing feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:00:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 29,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28255035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miltonicsimile/pseuds/miltonicsimile
Summary: Invited to spend the holidays with his best friend Johnny's family, Taeil is excited for a white Christmas in the mountains. Unfortunately, a snowstorm has Johnny and his parents stuck at the airport, and he's left alone with Donghyuck, Johnny's stepbrother. Which wouldn't be a problem, except the annoying kid he remembers is now a rich and famous singer. And hot???
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Moon Taeil
Comments: 42
Kudos: 191





	1. December 20

**Author's Note:**

> Will i finish this before xmas? No :(

**December 20**

When he had received the invitation to spend the holidays with his best friend’s family at a chalet in the Swiss Alps, Taeil had done a quick web search as to what that exactly meant.

As he stepped out of the rental car, snow crunching beneath his rubber-soled boot, Taeil immediately realized that a ‘wooden cottage with overhanging eaves in the alpine region of Europe’ was a bit of an understatement.

Before him was a behemoth of wood, stone, and glass – part castle and part luxury hotel. And completely theirs for the holidays. Blanketed elegantly in snow with the mountains rising behind, it was stunning. He briefly wondered if the chalet had ever been used as the villain’s headquarters in a Bond movie.

He slammed the car door and popped the boot, grabbing his bags with their airline tags still attached to the handles. He put on his backpack over his thick winter jacket, all of it making him feel like a fat penguin. Taeil extended the handle of his rolling suitcase only to learn that pulling a suitcase on wheels did not work in several inches of fluffy white snow.

“Shit,” he muttered, his breath coming out in a small white cloud. He turned the suitcase onto its side and grabbed the handle, only to realize how heavy it was. He had packed some light reading for the two-week stay. And several nicer outfits for formal Christmas eve, Christmas Day, and New Year. And as much winter gear he could buy in Seoul so he could enjoy skiing without freezing his ass off.

“Fuck.” The chalet had at least a dozen snow-covered stone steps leading up to the main entrance. After an embarrassing struggle, Taeil finally reached the top that was luckily less snowy due to the eaves above. Next to the massive wooden door, in the grey stone of the wall, a grey rectangle flipped open to reveal the entrance keypad. Taeil realized it was probably best to keep the keypad covered, preventing keys from freezing and the snow from getting in.

He dropped the suitcase and pulled off a leather glove. Johnny had called him a few hours ago saying his family was stuck at Heathrow airport because of weather delays. It was snowing there, too. Luckily, he had given Taeil the passcode to the chalet.

He typed it in and let out a sigh when the little button flashed green. He did not want to be locked outside in the middle of the damn Swiss alps’ miles from the nearest town where he didn’t speak the language.

He let himself in and dropped his bags on the shining oak floors. The inside of the house was just as fancy as the outside. Maybe more. Taeil’s eyes grew wide as he took it in, shaking his head in appreciation. Johnny’s family had always been well off, but in the past five years, things had changed a lot. Taeil sometimes forgot that.

“Hello?” He called out, even though he knew there was no one here yet.

Silence answered.

Hanging up his heavy and now snow-covered jacket on one of the many hooks by the door, Taeil stepped out of his boots and put them on a mat, making sure none of the water got onto the wood floor.

He wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t know when Johnny or his family would be there. He pulled out his phone to check for an update.

Ten minutes prior Johnny had sent a selfie at the airport bar with his step-father. Both of their faces were red, the caption reading ‘this eggnog has an extra ingredient’.

Taeil chuckled, clicking the camera app and taking a panorama shot of the chalet. He sent it off with a ‘quaint cottage’. He had made sure the two stone fireplaces and sparkling chandelier were in the picture.

Johnny had explained that someone from the rental company had dropped off groceries earlier that day, stocking the fridge and pantry before their arrival. Rich people perks. Taeil wandered into the kitchen, taking in more of the ridiculous opulence and looking for a snack.

The fridge was full of fresh ingredients that Taeil unfortunately did not have the energy to assemble into a meal. What it did have, however, was a bougie looking ready-to-cook handmade pizza. It was covered and labelled ‘475 for 10-15 minutes’.

Taeil grabbed a swiss beer from the fridge and turned on the oven. The beer was pretty damn good. With time to kill, Taeil finally gave in and began to explore the chalet. It was covered in beautiful stone and massive windows, showing the snow continuing to fall outside as the sunset. It was only four in the afternoon.

Every room was stunning, more of the same natural material style. Fur throws on leather couches, stone fireplaces, massive beds in each room. In what must be the living room, there was a huge television above a fireplace. Taeil found a remote on the coffee table and picked it up and pressed a button. He expected the television to turn on, only for a fire to leap to life below it. It would be a burden staying here for two weeks.

When he heard the oven beep, Taeil returned to the kitchen and put the pizza in. He turned on the timer on his phone and saw another text from Johnny.

'Sweet! Bad news: I don’t think we’re going to make it there any time soon ☹ Don’t have too much fun without me.’

Leaning against the marble countertop, Taeil sighed. What was the point of coming all the way to Switzerland to spend the holidays with his best friend, if Johnny wasn’t here? Taeil would have to keep himself entertained. Which probably meant trying out that massive television in the other room. It was getting dark and snowing too hard for skiing.

It was dark by the time Taeil found himself on the sofa in front of the television with another beer and a plate full of pizza. It was kind of psyching him out how when he looked outside there was no one else around, no lights, no cars, nothing but mountainous countryside. And a lot of fucking snow that didn’t look like it was letting up any time soon. He was glad to be inside where it was warm.

Unfortunately, Taeil couldn’t figure out how to work the stupid Swiss television. After struggling for a few minutes, he gave up and let it play the crime drama that it kept going back to. At least he had managed to put on subtitles.

Pizza finished, another beer opened, cozied up beneath a blanket, Taeil found himself highly invested in the show. It was about a young couple that kept having bad luck and they tried moving to escape it, finally to end up in a cabin in the woods to be safe - except that was exactly where the murderer wanted them.

"Girl, don’t go in there!” He whispered at the television when the wife decided it would be a good idea to explore the cellar of the cabin.

The cellar door creaked open.

“Hello?” Called the wife.

“Hello?” A low scratchy voice replied from the darkness.

A door slammed. The wooden front door. Of the  _ chalet _ .

Taeil jumped and let out a screech. A manly screech.

"Hello?” Called out a very real-person-inside-the-chalet. “ _ Helloooo _ ?”

It was the drawn-out dramatic vowels that made Taeil’s brain pause for long enough for him to recognize the voice.

The chandelier above Taeil flickered on and the familiar but shockingly changed frame of Johnny’s stepbrother was revealed. “Hyung?  _ Taeil-hyung _ ?”

“ _ Donghyuck _ ?” Taeil said in an equally surprised voice. He let the blanket drop from around his face where he had been clutching it. Clutching it in a normal and not terrified-he-was-about-to-be-murdered way. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to spend the holidays with my family,” Donghyuck replied, walking into the room like he owned it, flopping down on the other end of the couch. “What are you doing here?”

It had been three years since Taeil had last seen Johnny’s little stepbrother. Donghyuck had been seventeen then, his face still more babyish than handsome, his body more skinny than fit. It only took one look for Taeil to realize that the boy he knew was now a man – filled out in the right places and jaw sharper. He was also now a millionaire pop-icon and not just a clingy tag-a-long on his and Johnny’s adventures.

“I was invited.”

Donghyuck put his socked-feet on the coffee table, crossed his legs in his tight designer jeans. “Huh, I must have missed my assistant telling me that. Or maybe Johnny forgot to tell her. Because I would have never forgotten about  _ you _ , hyung.”

Taeil nodded, offering a smile. He had always liked Donghyuck. The kid was funny, loud, and had a lot of personality. Taeil had kind of missed it. He hadn’t been sure if his best friend’s little brother would be joining them, but he was happy to see the younger man. But so much time had passed, the kid from his memories was gone and the young man next to him looking fresh off a Vogue set was here. It was a lot to take in.

“So,” Donghyuck continued, eyes quickly surveying the scene in front of him. The pizza crust on the plate and the empty beer cans. Taeil could practically hear the gears in his mind turning. Donghyuck had always been too clever for his own good.

“My family isn’t going to be here any time soon. Stuck at the airport because of the snowstorm….Netflix and chill?”

Falling back into old habits, Taeil let out a laugh. “There’s more pizza in the kitchen if you want some. And beer.”

“And wine and champagne and everything else we could want, I imagine,” Donghyuck said, standing and stretching. He had grown. And Taeil couldn’t stop looking. “You know what they say, hyung.”

“What?” Taeil asked, following suit and standing. Donghyuck was taller than him now. Not that Taeil was particularly tall, but it was weird little Hyuck had grown up. He was still smaller than Johnny, but he’d never been expected to grow as big. They were stepbrothers.

Donghyuck’s lips curled into a devilish grin. “Drinking is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off. Or is that lying?”

Taeil shook his head. Maybe this fucking kid had not changed. “Let’s get you some supper and then we can talk fun. You can tell me all about your fancy life over champagne after, okay?”

In the kitchen, spinning slowly side to side on a bar stool, his elbows leaning against the marble countertop, Taeil watched in amusement as Donghyuck wolfed down the remaining pizza. He’d known Donghyuck since he was thirteen, and one thing that hadn’t changed was how shameless he was. Not even fame had managed to taint that. Taeil was oddly grateful.

“I just flew in from Istanbul. What have you been up to?” Donghyuck asked between mouthfuls. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever. I’ve missed you!”

If anyone else said that to him, Taeil would have assumed it was just teasing. But the issue he had started to have as Donghyuck aged was that it was becoming harder and harder to tell when he was being genuine with his affection.

“Finished my masters. Teaching for the past few years.”

Donghyuck nodded, impressed. “Ahh, hyung you should teach me. You know me better than those stiff suits. You’re more talented, too.”

A smile crept across Taeil’s face. There was once a time when he’d spent many evenings helping some little talkative brat with homework, much to Johnny’s chagrin. “It’s mostly been just core courses. Music theory, ear training.”

“Hyung,” Donghyuck said waving a slice of pizza, a pepper falling onto the counter between them. “I know I haven’t seen you in a long time but that doesn’t mean you can just say no to teaching me! I can show you how good I am if you teach me!”

Taeil tapped his beer can against the counter in a steady rhythm. The alcohol must have kicked in because he just went for it. “What about you? So much as happened since the last time I saw you.” It was asking a million things and letting Donghyuck choose how to answer.

Turning the taps of the kitchen sink on, Donghyuck hummed as he washed his hands. He’d always been singing, a tune in his head at any moment for as long as they’d known each other. Taeil was the same way and one of the reasons he had always let Donghyuck hang around.  _ A kindred spirit _ is what he’d always told Johnny.

“Yeah, you could say that.” He grabbed a towel. It looked way too plush to be used in a kitchen. “Landed a record deal. Dropped a mini and then full-length album. Shot some music videos. Several hit songs. Did a tour. Snogged a European princess at an American awards show. Got several restraining orders. Met G-dragon. That was cool. Had my parents arrange a nice family holiday that was secluded in the middle of nowhere. Found you here instead.”

The way he said it all, so matter of fact but laced with sarcasm was unsettling. It was all an amazing accomplishment. Donghyuck regularly was trending on news sites. Well, his stage name was.  _ Haechan _ . Full sun. But for the fame and the money to be written off so easily, it made Taeil question if Donghyuck was speaking this way just because they have known each other for a long time, or if he genuinely didn’t realize it’s a big fucking deal. The kid was confusing and almost a stranger after their time apart.

“Found me here instead, yup. Sorry, to disappoint.”

“Hyung!” Donghyuck whined, reaching out across the counter dramatically for Taeil, but missing by several feet. It was a big ass counter. “I didn’t mean it like that!”

Laughing, Taeil shook his head. “No, I understand. I’m too old and boring for a young and fresh popstar.”

Standing up, Donghyuck adjusted his cashmere sweater then ran a hand through his hair. It was lightened from its natural black to a honey brown, almost the same shade as his skin. All of it made him look older, more mature. But handsome. Surely part of it was money, the clothes, the sparkling earrings and bracelets catching in the kitchen light. But there was a part that Taeil couldn’t deny was just the raw force of a twenty-year-old-Donghyuck. It kind of scared him.

“You really grew up, hey?”

Cocking his head to the side, Donghyuck shrugged. “I dunno. You tell me.”

And somehow, that sounded like a challenge. It felt like a gauntlet thrown down before him. It smelled of things to come.

“The snow isn’t letting up. My family isn’t going to get here tonight.” Donghyuck said after the moment had passed. Or maybe Taeil had hallucinated the whole thing. Maybe it was the jet lag and the beer. “And it’s past midnight back home. I’m going to go unpack and then go to bed. Do you want help picking a room?”

Nodding, Taeil followed him deeper into the house, grabbing his bags at the door. He had peeked in some of the bedrooms earlier, all of them equally nice but he hadn’t claimed one for himself. He was a guest after all.

"All the bedrooms are on the east side with floor to ceiling windows so you can wake up and see the sunrise and mountains,” Donghyuck explained as he flicked on the light for the first bedroom. “They’re all about the same, except the master bedroom has a walk-in closet and a jacuzzi tub in addition to a shower.”

“This one is fine.” Taeil glanced around the room. It was bigger than his entire apartment in Seoul. Opulent. Luxe. Obscene. 

“You can close the blinds with this remote if you don’t want to wake up with the sun. There is a timer setting as well. The fireplace is the same setup as the living room, so you know how that works. TV is there. The bathroom is fully stocked with towels and everything else you could need.” Under his breath, he added, “except your family or whatever.”

Taeil shifted uncomfortably, watching as Donghyuck walked up the window. He looked out into the blackness, the light from the room illuminating the falling snow. He was lost in thought, a million miles away.

Setting down his bags, Taeil licked his lips. He had never been much of a talker, at least in comparison to Johnny or Donghyuck. He liked to joke around too, but he just wasn’t as loud, as outgoing. Still, he tried to find the right words when he needed them. There was once a time when if something were wrong, Donghyuck would have chosen him as the first person to wrap his arms around, placing his head on Taeil’s shoulder, seeking comfort. But that was years ago.

“Hey, don’t worry about your family. They won’t get on a plane until it’s safe to fly.”

“I know.” Donghyuck didn’t move. “I just was looking forward to this all. To us being together for once.”

Taeil wasn’t stupid. He knew how little Johnny had seen his stepbrother in the past few years. How busy Donghyuck must be, never having a break, rushing from schedule to schedule. He knew better than most, given the dreams of many of the students he taught. Fame came at a price.

“Hey,” Taeil said, joining him in front of the window. He wanted to reach out and touch Donghyuck – wrap an arm around him, pull him close. The younger had always craved physical attention. But things were different. He was a grown man now. He was practically a stranger. Taeil didn’t know where the lines were drawn anymore. “You’re tired. It’s been snowing for hours. You will feel better in the morning. We can facetime Johnny over breakfast.”

"Yeah,” Donghyuck turned to look at him, their eyes meeting. “Things will be better in the morning.”

Beneath his makeup, there were shockingly normal bumps of acne on his cheek. And his bottom lip was chapped. He looked so much like the boy who used to beg to tag along to get ice cream. But there was a darkness to his brown eyes now, a hurt that hadn’t existed the last time he looked at his best friend’s little brother this closely. Their time apart had changed Donghyuck. Both of them had changed, Taeil realized. He wasn’t the twenty-three-year-old music student anymore either.

"Get some sleep,” Taeil said with a bit of finality, watching as the younger man headed for the door.

“I’ll just be in the next room over,” Donghyuck said, pausing to offer a tight smile. “Thanks for being here, hyung. I’ve missed you.”

And with that, Taeil was left alone in his bougie room, exhausted and with a lot on his mind.

  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**December 21**

It was a good thing he hadn’t been relying on the Sun to wake him. Taeil woke to dim light from outside, the snow falling heavy, creating a sky like a blanket tossed over a lamp. It was after ten and he knew that he had slept more than long enough. The jetlag still had him fucked though.

He showered and dressed in jeans and a big knit sweater. He felt like he was trying a bit too hard by wearing jeans when on vacation, but he also felt like it would be inappropriate to walk around in socks and sweatpants in a goddamn  _ chalet _ . There were standards to uphold.

Following the smell of coffee and cooking food, he found Donghyuck in the kitchen.

“Oh good, you’re awake. I made you breakfast!”

Taeil’s eyes widened but followed Donghyuck’s pointed finger and sat down on one of the barstools. A steaming cup of coffee was set before him.

“You like eggs, right?”

Taeil nodded, blowing on the coffee. It smelled divine. 

“That would make a good pick-up line,” Donghyuck commented, setting a bowl of rice down in front of Taeil and then adding a plate of perfectly folded and cut omelet, just the way Taeil loved it. “Like, asking how someone likes their eggs as a way to insinuate they’re coming home with you and you’re cooking them breakfast.”

“Yeah,” Taeil nodded, taking a bite of the omelet. It melted in his mouth. “I got it.”

Donghyuck smiled. He wasn’t wearing makeup this morning. He looked more like the Donghyuck that Taeil remembered. The acne on his cheek was red on his honey skin and impossibly human. There was stubble on his chin. And he clearly didn’t have the concern about not dressing nice enough for their vacation, wearing a massive white t-shirt that nearly covered black shorts.

“Do you like it?” He asked.

Taeil nodded, smiling back. It was hard not to. “It’s good. Thank you.”

It didn’t take long for Donghyuck to serve himself and plop down on the barstool beside him. A minute later the familiar sound of the facetime app was filling the kitchen.

Johnny picked up on the second ring. He looked tired and his hair was offensively greasy. But he had a big smile. “Hey, guys! You both made it there, awesome!”

“Are you on a plane yet?” Donghyuck asked, leaning forward to show off his big sad puppy eyes. On the phone screen, he looked kind of like a fish. Taeil held in a chuckle. “We need you here!”

Johnny’s amused expression faded. “Well, the snowstorm hasn’t let up here. It’s so weird, no one knows what to do with all this snow. It doesn’t sound like anyone is flying anywhere any time soon, unfortunately.”

“That bad?” Taeil asked. He glanced outside the windows of the chalet, where the snow continued to come down in a steady white curtain. It was pretty, he had never seen snow like this. But right now, it was the last thing they needed if his best friend was actually going to get here.

“My mum has gone to get us sorted with a hotel until further notice,” Johnny said. “I’m sorry.”

The disappointment at the news did not need to be voiced. Taeil felt a shift in the pit of his stomach, a wish for things to clear up just so he could properly enjoy his holiday with his friend. He glanced over at Donghyuck who’s usually bright face had turned sombre. He was even more disappointed than Taeil – he wanted to see his parents and older brother.

“Well, you sure are missing out,” Taeil said in a bright voice. “This place is amazing. Winter paradise. We will try not to have too much fun without you.”

That shifted something in Donghyuck’s expression. He threw an arm around Taeil, something he hadn’t done in years, and grinned wide. “Yeah, you’re going to be so bored in your hotel room with the parentals while Taeil-hyung and I are out here skiing and having snowball fights and the time of our lives.”

“Don’t have too much fun without me.”

Taeil laughed. “No promises.”

Johnny frowned, lowering his phone giving them a great shot of his double chin. “Oh, shit. Mom is calling, probably about the hotel. I’ll text you guys later. Bye!”

“Bye!” They answered as the call ended.

Fingers wrapping around his cup of coffee, Taeil turned to look outside. “The snow sure is coming down, huh?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck sighed, the energy from moments ago dissipating. “It can fuck right off.”

Taeil had to agree. It was snowing too heavily for them to go outside. He had hoped to do some skiing while here. He was a lot more athletic than anyone gave him credit for, and he had wanted to show off for Johnny’s Instagram.

“It’s our first proper day of holidays…what should we do?”

“Remember when you used to come over and we would have movie marathons?” Donghyuck asked, returning to his breakfast. “You and Johnny would say it was private but would always give in and let me join.”

Chuckling, Taeil nodded. “Yes. You were a devious little thing. You would always start at the other end of the couch but by the end would be sleeping on top of me.” He had thought it was endearing, like a puppy who couldn’t stop rubbing his head on your knee. He’d never been bothered by it, not really.

A pink flush spread across Donghyuck’s cheeks. He suddenly was very interested in his eggs. “Oh, you remember that?”

“Of course.” Taeil picked up a piece of his omelet. “You were annoying and adorable back then.”

“Excuse me,” Donghyuck frowned. “I still am, thank you very much. Anyway, my point is that since we can’t do much outside today, we can have a movie marathon. We can do holiday movies. Or whatever you want, really. Nothing better to do.”

“Sure,” Taeil said. “Let’s do that.”

+

Five Christmas and one really sad horse movie later, Taeil was hungry again. They’d snacked throughout the movies, fruit and chips and whatever else was in the pantry. He was tired and it was dark again. He didn’t want to do anything. That kind of was the point of a vacation though.

“Hyung, I’m hungry,” Donghyuck said, rolling off the sofa and onto the floor. It was something he had seen Donghyuck do consistently over the years and made Taeil consider maybe the younger man really hadn’t changed that much. “What do you want to eat?”

Lifting an eyebrow, Taeil turned his gaze to the puddle of boy on the floor. Donghyuck was obviously still disappointed about his family not making it to the chalet yet but was doing his best to hide it. “What are you cooking?”

“I don’t know. Noodles. Stew.”

“I’ll eat whatever you make.”

Donghyuck climbed off the floor and stretched and yawned like a lion cub. Which was both cute and alarming. “Flattering.” He cracked his neck. “You’re helping right, hyung?”

Taeil didn’t want to do anything except lay there, but Donghyuck was giving him a long look. He felt exposed and like every secret was written in ink on his skin. It made him nervous, being looked at like that. “Yeah, sure.”

In the end, they had ramen. Taeil had chopped some vegetables and let Donghyuck do the rest.

“Best ramen I ever had was surprisingly in Australia. This really old Japanese guy in this tiny shop made it.” Donghyuck said as they worked. “He apparently had moved there in the forties. Didn’t speak the language, hated the heat. But he could cook and that was enough for him to be happy.”

“Sometimes we don’t know what to do with the gifts we are given until we’re thrust into new circumstances.” Taeil said. “And sometimes we are just meant to make other people happy. That’s how I think about music.”

Donghyuck paused, eyes meeting Taeil’s across the kitchen. “Me too.”

It didn’t take long to finish cooking.

“This is good.” Taeil tasted the dish when they were done. The broth had layers of flavour, the noodles soft, the meat tender, the onions crisp. “When did you learn to cook?”

“I don’t know, it just kind of happened.” Donghyuck shrugged. They sat across from each other at the fancy table in the dining room, the table ornately decorated with a centrepiece of pinecones and white flowers. “No one was ever home much, as I got older. Then everything with my music happened, and it turned out the only way for me to get a home cooked meal was to cook it myself.”

It wasn’t like Taeil had been expecting to hear how Johnny had spent Saturday nights showing his stepbrother how to cook - Johnny could barely feed himself, but this truth made Taeil sad. And also, a bit concerned. “Did you ever burn anything?”

Donghyuck snorted. “What? No! I’m amazing in the kitchen.” He flashed a sly grin. “Okay, well there was this one time I thought I threw a dish towel on the counter, but it landed on the stove and-”

“Oh my god,” Taeil laughed.

“Nothing burned down. It was fine!” Donghyuck insisted. After a beat, in a softer voice, he added, “and well, I like cooking for others too. I don’t know. That sounds lame.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Taeil said. “It’s sweet. I bet people appreciate it.”

From what Taeil remembered, Donghyuck had been equal parts sweet and chaotic growing up. Many people thought he was just the latter, a troublemaker who got off on the attention and ensuing drama. Taeil had always known better, seen the softer and caring side that Donghyuck had kept hidden. Maybe he was biased, he could never have hated his best friend’s little brother with his wide puppy eyes even if he’d tried.

"I hope so. It’s more personal, I guess. It feels like now that I’m a singer people expect fancy gifts and expensive stuff from me. Which I get and is totally fine.” Donghyuck sighed, looking down at the Rolex on his wrist. “But I still like cooking sometimes.”

Taeil nodded slowly, watching as the younger man looked at his food as if the answers were among the noodles. “No, it makes sense. You always have liked to take care of people as much as you’ve liked to stir up …healthy competition. There’s nothing wrong with wanting it to be a bit more genuine. Don’t change your love language for others. If cooking for others makes you feel good, don’t stop just because you make a lot of money now.”

He had let to directly address the fact that the kid he had known since before he hit puberty was now a celebrity, and with that said, Taeil shifted in his seat.

Donghyuck looked up at him, eyes gleaming in the chandelier light. “You think so?”

“Yeah,” Taeil said. “Don’t change for anyone but yourself.”

A small smile crept across Donghyuck’s face and he looked back down at his bowl. “You’re so cheesy, hyung.”

"I have much wisdom in my old age,” Taeil teased.

Donghyuck laughed, kicking him playfully under the table. “Shut up. You’re not that much older than me.”

He just laughed in response. That hadn’t changed.

“It’s the solstice you know,” Donghyuck said after a minute. He pointed out the window, the sun already set. “The shortest day of the year.”

Taeil was suddenly hit with the memory of Johnny and him being given the cold shoulder for an entire week after they had ditched the fifteen-year-old-and-into-Wicca-Donghyuck’s winter solstice ceremony for a bar. Neither of them had thought it would be a big deal. It apparently had been.

“Are you still into that stuff?”

Donghyuck’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean? This may shock you, but I don’t control planetary movements, contrary to popular belief.”

Taeil snorted. “I meant celebrating that stuff. I remember you were really into it growing up.”

“Well, I am a Gemini,” Donghyuck said as if that answered the question.

“Aren’t I as well?” Taeil remembers a baby-faced Donghyuck pestering about his birthday and the time he was born.

“Yes, but on the opposite end of the spectrum. We are similar but express it in different ways, which is why we always go along so well.”

Taeil considered this. He hadn’t realized that Donghyuck had been aware of how easily they got along, despite their age difference. “You are a bit of a troublemaker, but never crossed me.”

“Because I love you, hyung! And I know you would definitely get me back.”

“True. I always let you get away with things because they never affected me.” Taeil admitted, reflecting on all the times Johnny had faced demon-Hyuck. “I may have in fact actively encouraged you sometimes.”

“Gemini solidarity!”

Taeil rolled his eyes but laughed anyway. “When your family gets here are you going to be on your best behaviour or go straight into chaos mode to make up for lost time?”

“If they ever get here.” Donghyuck sighed. “I think Santa Claus is going to get here before them at this rate.”

“Snowstorms don’t stop reindeer!” Taeil joked, trying to make light of their shitty situation.

Donghyuck smiled, again but this time it didn’t reach his eyes.

After they finished eating, Taeil did the dishes and Donghyuck disappeared into his bedroom. He didn’t ask or follow, deciding to dig out one of the books he’d brought to read. He had never minded being alone. Donghyuck on the other hand he remembered sneaking into sleepovers or intruding on his and Johnny’s games because he was bored or lonely. This was new.

Despite the uncharted territory, Taeil decided to let the younger man be. He was clearly still bummed over his family being stuck in England. Maybe he needed some alone time. He might have changed in that regard, Taeil wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure about much when it came to Donghyuck – he wanted to fall back into old habits and assumptions about his best friend’s little brother but couldn’t. Donghyuck was so different – he wore expensive clothes and talked about going places Taeil couldn’t even imagine. His face was on the cover of magazines and his name plastered across online sites.

But Donghyuck still laughed at his jokes, he still clung to him when they watched movies. He was a puzzle that Taeil had completed many years ago, only to come back with new pieces added and now some were glittery. Some were missing, at least, for now.

Taeil curled up with his book and sighed. He was going to make the most out of this holiday. He’d figure out Donghyuck eventually. Three years wasn’t that long. And according to Donghyuck, the stars were on their side.   
  



	3. Chapter 3

**December 22**

It was still fucking snow. Taeil had thought he’d enjoy the snow and the mountains, a proper Christmas vibe, but he was kind of over it.

He sipped coke, looking out the kitchen window. He had turned off his phone, tired of scrolling through news stories of the unprecedented and bizarre snowstorm engulfing western Europe. Taeil wondered if this is the beginning of some climate-related apocalypse.

The thought of having to be stuck forever with Donghyuck in this bougie chalet ran through his mind. Neither of them had ever killed an animal. He was not sure if they could make a fire without matches. They would not be able to repopulate the Earth if it ever thawed – he backed up a minute. Taeil shook his head. Weird thought to have about his best friend’s little brother.

He read, watched TV, cooked lunch. Donghyuck didn’t appear.

By two in the afternoon Taeil was worried. Just slightly. Donghyuck had been bummed out over his family not being here and had disappeared early last night. Was he okay?

Taeil found himself standing outside Donghyuck’s bedroom door, unsure of what to do. He would have texted him, but he didn’t have his number. Changed a dozen times, multiple phones, the life of an idol is much different than the teenager Taeil remembers being spammed with emojis by.

“Hyuck?” He called through the door. Nothing. He knocked once. Twice. “You awake?”

Nothing.

Slowly, he took a deep breath and turned the doorknob, pressing in. He prayed he wouldn't find the younger man in some intimate position or worse.

He pushed in a bit further.

Headset on, Donghyuck was perched in front of his television with the most atrocious posture Taeil had ever seen, playing video games. And winning from what he could tell.

Taeil shut the door.

So, that had not changed.

Chuckling, Taeil headed back into the living room. It was still snowing out, blocking out the few hours of daylight left. He decided to take another look around the chalet – it was like walking through some rich white person’s assistant’s Pinterest board. (He assumed rich white people don’t have Pinterest boards of their own, they could pay people to design shit for them, but that person needs inspiration.)

The chalet really was spectacular. Like stupidly so. And unnecessarily big. If it really were the end of the world, he and Donghyuck could stay here and not even see each other if they wanted. Donghyuck might not like that though. The boy Taeil grew up with would probably claim a hug shortage. He wondered if  _ Haechan  _ would do the same.

He peeked into all the empty bedrooms. He wandered further. There was a sitting room looking out onto a snow-covered deck and the mountainside at the other end of the house. Again, it was all windows and exposed stone with a massive fireplace. However, what Taeil didn’t last time he checked out the room was how the wall on the west side didn’t quite connect to the window.

He walked closer and saw that there was another room off the sitting room, half-hidden by the angle of the wall and window.

Taeil went in.

It was another sitting room. Smaller, with a loveseat and two plush looking chairs pointed toward the window. What held his attention though, was the grand piano situated at the centre.

Taeil approached it, running his hands along it. Pianos like this cost more than houses. He would know – they had a few at the university.

It wasn’t a question if he would sit and play it. It only took a minute for Taeil to sit down, to run his hands along the keys. They found a song all one their own.

There was something that always happened with music. He would listen, he would play, he would sing, and without noticing it, Taeil would lose himself. Watching Haechan perform live on shows, Taeil had noticed he wasn’t alone in this. It was what made him secretly quite proud of his best friend’s little brother. Donghyuck was right about them being alike. They were more alike than either of them realized.

Minutes went by. An hour.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and Taeil stopped playing, jarred back into reality.

“Hey,” he answered the video call.

“Hey,” Johnny echoed. He laid in bed, hair a mess. “I haven’t heard from you or Hyuck in a while. I wanted to make sure you two aren’t having too much fun without me.”

Taeil stood, heading towards the window for better lighting. More time had passed than he’d realized. The sun was still blocked by the falling snow. The days were getting longer now after the solstice, but it would take weeks until a difference would be noticed.

“Oh, you know it.” He said with a confident smile. “A wild time here. Your brother has been playing video games for something like ten hours. And I was stirring up trouble on the piano.”

Johnny rolled his eyes. “I see I’m missing out on a lot.”

“You really are,” Taeil replied. “Any idea when you’re going to get here? I don’t want to worry you, but Donghyuck is disappointed you guys aren’t here yet. He’s trying to hide how sad he is, but well, your brother hasn’t changed that much.”

“Always such a good hyung,” Johnny sighed. He rubbed at his eye with the heel of his palm; he clearly was tired of being snowed in too. “But no. They’re telling us the snow will let up after Christmas. Be assured we will be on a plane as soon as we can.”

“Fucking weather.” Taeil shook his head. He and Johnny were never this serious. The corner of his mouth twitched up in amusement. “Well, stay safe. Don’t rush to get here and put yourself at risk. I know I am so  _ burdened  _ with this luxurious chalet with everything I could ever need.”

Johnny let out a much-needed laugh. It instantly made Taeil feel better too. “It is pretty fucking ridiculous isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Taeil laughed. “As fucking ridiculous that it’s Hyuck who can afford this.”

“I know,” Johnny said. He paused for a moment, looking off-screen. “Hey, I know a lot of time has gone by, but since you’re there, and I’m not, can you keep an eye out for Hyuck? I know you always had a bit of a soft spot for him when he was younger, and now he likes to pretend he’s a hotshot that doesn’t need anyone…but can you take care of him?” 

Taeil’s breath caught his throat.

“He needs someone to look out for him,” Johnny said. “He likes to pretend he’s all confident and likes to seem strong all the time. But he’s still just a kid in a lot of ways.”

“Yeah,” Taeil nodded. “Of course. Not that much has changed. Not the stuff that matters, you know?”

Johnny smiled. “Yeah, I know. I bet he still says you’re his favourite hyung, huh?”

“Yup.”

“That bastard. After I gave him my favourite watch when he was sixteen, too!”

Taeil headed back into the main sitting room. He had once spent a lot of time taking care of Donghyuck, consciously and otherwise. This wouldn’t be much of a change; except they were older. At least, that’s what Taeil was starting to believe. Time and fame and fortune had not seemed to wash away the habits and mannerisms of the kid he remembered. But there was the fact Donghyuck was a  _ man  _ now, taller and filled out,  _ handsome  _ . Not that Donghyuck being handsome changed that much. At least, that’s what Taeil told himself. He was still his best friend’s little brother, right? Stepbrother. Who was now full grown. In a way, Taeil could appreciate. Objectively.

“I’m going to go check on your brother then. Make sure he eats and showers.”

“Please take good care of him."

“I will,” Taeil promised. And he meant it.

He poked his phone and headed down the hall, stopping in front of Donghyuck’s bedroom door for the second time that day. He knocked once.

“What?” A distracted call answered.

Taeil opened the door and stepped in. Donghyuck had slid down his chair so low he might as well have been lying on it. It looked uncomfortable. “Hungry yet?”

“Oh,” Donghyuck paused his game. “Actually yeah. What time is it? Noon?”

“Like supper time.”

“Oh,” Donghyuck stood up and stretched. His t-shirt lifted to reveal a honey-coloured stretch of skin. “Fuck.”

Taeil looked to the floor. “Want to help cook?”

“Sure. But only because you asked, Taeilie-hyung.”

Cooking together was fun. Donghyuck seemed to be in a better mood than the night before. They joked as they cut vegetables and grilled meat on the stove.

“Johnny called earlier,” Taeil finally confessed when they sat to eat. “It didn’t sound like he or your parents would be here before Christmas. I’m sorry.”

Mouth full of chicken, Donghyuck shrugged. It was kind of appalling but also endearing, in a weird way. “Yeah, I kind of figured that would happen. I’m over it now. Like obviously not over it, but I’m going to make the best of the time we have here. Look.” He pointed to the window.

“The snow is letting up,” Taeil observed, letting a smile creep across his face. “Maybe tomorrow we can finally go outside.”

“We got a white Christmas in the mountains together, hyung,” Donghyuck said, raising a brow mischievously. “Too bad we’re going to have to fucking shovel ourselves out.”

“Shit.” Taeil sighed before they broke out into laughter.


	4. Chapter 4

**December 23**

Taeil dreamed a memory, a foggy collection of scenes and feelings that were catalogued deep in his mind. They hadn’t been pulled out in years.

He was in Johnny’s childhood bedroom, sitting on the bed. The duvet was blue and covered in stars. He’d had it for years. Taeil was waiting for his best friend. They were going somewhere. To a bar? A restaurant? A concert?

“Hyung,” Donghyuck appeared in the doorway, giving him a shy smile. He was young, on the cusp of manhood. He had started his growth spurt, but his cheeks were still full and soft. “Can you help me?”

“Depends on what you want help with,” Taeil answered, humouring him. He always humoured Donghyuck. He never minded the questions and the constant hugging. He never understood Johnny’s complaints about his brother.

“You shave right?”

Taeil lifted a brow. “Yes.”

“Look,” Donghyuck approached the bed, pointing to his chin. A half dozen dark hair protruded. “It looks so stupid. Help me.”

“Ah, you’re a man now, huh?” Taeil asked, amused at the teenager’s distress. Donghyuck was vain and dramatic and completely endearing.

Donghyuck frowned, working his bottom lip between his teeth. “Can you…show me how to shave?”

“Can’t you ask Johnny? Or you dad?”

“That’s so embarrassing.” Donghyuck protested, wrapping a hand around Taeil’s arm and pulling him up from the bed. “Please? Hyung, I only trust you. Everyone else will make a big deal about it or make fun of me.”

“Okay,” Taeil gave in.

The bathroom was fuzzier. Donghyuck leaning over the sink. Taeil dragging a razor down a honey-coloured cheek slowly. His hand on Donghyuck’s shoulder. Their laughter filled the room when Donghyuck screwed up his face, focusing too hard in the mirror.

Johnny called out his name. Donghyuck hugged him tightly, whispering something in his ear. Taeil couldn’t hear what. Thanks? Goodbye? With Donghyuck it could be anything.

+

He woke to Donghyuck jumping onto the bed. He rolled onto Taeil – spreading limbs wide, a heavy blanket of a man on top of him.

“Good morning!” Came the cheery greeting.

Taeil groaned. He was typically fine with early mornings ...but he was on vacation.

“Hyung!” Donghyuck rolled off Taeil to lie next to him, their faces an inch apart on the pillow. Taeil could feel the younger man’s warm coffee breath on skin. “You need to wake up. We have a busy day planned. I went exploring and there is an underground garage area. I found decorations!”

Taeil blinked his eyes awake, a smile already spreading across his face. The enthusiasm was a welcome change. “Really?”

"Yes! Ah, hyung I’m so glad you’re here with me.” Donghyuck wrapped his arms around Taeil, engulfing him in a painfully tight hug. His brown hair tickled Taeil’s nose and he fought the urge to sneeze. Or inhale deeply and ask what conditioner millionaires used.

That is how Taeil found himself standing outside, wrapped up in his winter gear, watching Donghyuck drag out supplies from the walkout basement. He was grinning though, carrying something long in his hand and looking much less like a marshmallow than Taeil, in only jeans and a jacket.

“What is that?” Taeil asked, pointing to the object in hand.

Donghyuck lifted his arm into the air like a Norse warrior. “An axe!”

"Hyuck, no!”,

"Hyung, yes!”

“Oh my god,” Taeil laughed. “Your brother is going to kill me.”

Donghyuck headed off through the snow, struggling but determined. “Last night I was thinking, and I realized we need to make it feel more Christmassy. So, we should get a tree. Hence, the axe.”

“I see.” Taeil nodded, amused. The potential for this to end in tears or stitches was very real. He had promised to take care of Donghyuck, but Johnny seemed to forget that his brother was a tsunami that was impossible to stop once it had chosen its course. 

“And,” Donghyuck stopped walking, turning to face him. His cheeks were rosy as he lifted the axe again. “I need you to supervise.”

“Smart.”

“I’ve never cut down a tree before.”

Taeil was grinning so hard it hurt. This motherfucking kid was ridiculous, and he had missed it. “That does not surprise me.”

“What do you think?” Donghyuck asked, raising the axe with one hand, and putting the other on his hip.

"You’re adorable,” Taeil said.

"Thank you, but I meant what do you think about this tree.” Donghyuck gestured to the tall pine beside him.

“Are you even allowed to cut down trees here?”

“Probably not, but I can pay the fine.” Donghyuck shrugged. “Hey, don’t judge me!”

Taeil chuckled in disbelief. “Well, as long as you’re prepared for the possible consequences. It’s your money superstar.”

Donghyuck’s cheeks were flushed, but it might have been from the cold. “So, this tree?”

The tree stretched to the sky, ancient and huge. “Uh, it looks a bit ambitious. I mean, for your first tree.”

Donghyuck nodded, turning, and taking a few steps deeper into the snow-covered winter wonderland. “How about this one?”

The tree in question was significantly smaller but still seemed massive when considering it was to be cut down and put up in the chalet.

"You need to remember we need to drag it back to the chalet, let the snow melt off it, and have it short enough it can stand up. Then we can decorate it.” Taeil said. He looked around them. All of the trees were heavy with snow. This wouldn’t be easy. There was one about his height he pointed at. “How about this one?”

“Hyung, that’s a fucking Charlie Brown tree.”

Taeil furrowed his brow, reaching out with a mittened hand to shake some of the snow off of the tree. “Rude. I think it’s perfectly adequate.”

“I mean,” Donghyuck gave him a coquettish smile. “Size doesn’t usually matter, but hyung, I want a proper Christmas tree.”

Taeil snorted. Okay, maybe Donghyuck had grown up more than he gave credit for. Teenage Donghyuck would have never dared say something like that to him. “You’re nasty. But fine.”

“This one.” They said at the same time, pointing to a smaller, but full tree. It would reach the top of the high ceilings and fill out the vast room. They exchanged smiles.

Donghyuck was three swings with the axe in when Taeil finally decided to ask. “Do you know what you’re doing?”

“It’s not rocket science!”

Taeil took another step back. For safety reasons. “But you don’t seem to be making any progress.”

“It takes time, hyung!”

Taeil sat in the snow to watch. His ski pants were good for something.

Ten minutes later Donghyuck was sitting in the snow next to him. There was sweat on his brow and he was unzipping his jacket. “I need a break. Your turn.”

“Fine,” Taeil took the axe and managed to climb back to his feet despite the stupid winter jacket and ski pants. He looked at the tree. Donghyuck had kind of mauled the base. But there were maybe three inches of depth to the cut when it had actually managed to be hit. If he started at a different angle, they’d be able to weaken it enough to tip it and let gravity do the rest.

He worked methodically, getting the hang of swinging the axe faster than Donghyuck had. Once he had made enough progress the tree was almost ready to be pushed over, Donghyuck was on his feet again.

“Okay, okay, let me finish.” He clearly understood Taeil’s plan and wanted to take the credit. Taeil of course was going to let him. The smile would be worth it.

“You sure?” Taeil asked, taking a final swing at the tree.

“Yes, give me the axe,” Donghyuck said. His jacket was tossed aside in the snow. And so was his shirt.

“Um,” Taeil blinked. “What are you doing?”

“We are going to be so  _ fucking  _ festive,” Donghyuck said, taking the axe from Taeil’s hand. “My family is going to be so jealous.”

Taeil blinked again. He’d seen Donghyuck shirtless plenty over the years. But that was before he was an adult. Now it was a lot of soft golden skin. Sweaty and wielding an axe on the snow-covered mountainside. His brain was struggling to process. He kind of wished he had his phone.

Nervous laughter erupted out of him. “Please don’t hurt yourself. Or get sick!”

“Don’t worry, hyung. This baby is almost down.” Donghyuck said confidentially, raising the axe.

Taeil could do little more than laugh and hope no one got hurt. He wasn’t sure if he was more amused or concerned. The only other person he could imagine doing something this ridiculous was his best friend.

“Johnny would be so proud of you right now, you know that?”

“Johnny is an attention-seeking bisexual thot.”

Taeil shook his head in amusement. “And you’re not?”

“Hyung!” Donghyuck gasped in faux horror. “Alright, come here and help me push the tree over. Mostly because I don’t want it to fall on you.”

It came down eventually. Carrying the tree into the chalet was easier than cutting it down. They left it on the floor of the chalet entrance thaw, puddles from the snow already forming. Taeil prayed they didn’t damage anything.

“You know what I need?” Taeil said once he was out of many layers.

Donghyuck’s shirt was back on but his jeans were soaked. He was struggling to pull them off. “What?”

“A hot drink,” Taeil said, looking away from the thigh suddenly on display. He retreated into the kitchen, pulling a glass bottle out of the cupboard. “With rum.”

In his black boxers, Donghyuck joined him with a mischievous grin. “I can get on board with that.”

"It’s weird you can drink,” Taeil confessed, turning on the coffee pot. It was so fancy Donghyuck had to show him how to use it. “I keep having to remind myself you’re an  _ adult _ . Every time I look at you it’s a bit of shock.”

Donghyuck lifted himself onto the countertop, legs spread wide as he leaned back on his hands. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know,” Taeil shrugged, focusing on making the drinks. “I just keep having to reconcile the Donghyuck in my memories with  _ Haechan  _ .”

The silence that followed was unusual enough that Taeil thought he might have misspoken. He wondered if there was a better way to explain himself. It wasn’t a bad thing; it’s just things were different now.

Taeil mixed the drinks. Topped them with whipped cream. He set one down on the counter next to Donghyuck. He took a sip of his own. It was good.

“You’re the same to me,” Donghyuck said eventually, picking up his drink. “Like, you haven’t changed.”

"Really?”

Donghyuck examined the contents of his mug. He dipped his finger through the whipped cream before popping it into his mouth.

Taeil looked away.

“Maybe I just had this idea of you in my head after all these years,” Donghyuck began. “You have always been so cool to me. You’re so effortlessly funny and can make friends with anyone. Not to mention how hardworking you are and passionate about music. I always told myself if I could be as half as good as you are, then maybe I’d make it. Not in the music industry, but life itself.”

For the second time that morning, Taeil was lost for words. “I didn’t think you thought that much of me,” Taeil confessed, grasping for words. “I mean, we were never friends. I was just around because of Johnny.”

"This is going to sound lame, but you were always my favourite,” Donghyuck said, smiling into his drink. “I know I said it all the time, and still do, but I’m not just running my mouth. To me, you were everything I wanted to be, maybe more. Your music program was just proof of how amazing you were. You still are.”

Taeil nodded, remembering answering a million and two questions about his university and courses to a baby-faced Donghyuck. It had been cute. He had encouraged Donghyuck to work hard and keep singing. Taeil had always thought Donghyuck had a voice that could take him as far as he wanted to go. All it would take was some hard work. He’d been right.

“You make me sound better than I am.”

"No, trust me, you deserve the praise.” Donghyuck’s cheeks were coloured again, but this time Taeil couldn’t blame the cold. “You are probably the only person I’ve ever met who doesn’t think I’m…too much. Maybe you’re just too polite to say or do anything, but I really appreciate that. You never have pushed away hugs or told me to quiet down.”

“You’re famous now. People probably are begging for your attention.”

“You’d be surprised,” Donghyuck scoffed. He took another sip of his drink, a pink tongue darting out to lick his lips. “My image is everything to my company. I have to filter so much of myself that sometimes I don’t even recognize myself in interviews. And when it comes to meeting people and trying to make friends, I can’t tell who actually likes me and who just likes me because I’m rich and famous.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah.” Donghyuck chuckled darkly. Then, “am I really that different to you now?”

“You’re still you,” Taeil answered carefully, looking at him intently. Donghyuck’s limbs were longer, his hair was dyed. The jewellery around his neck and on his fingers shone in the morning light. But the curve of his nose was the same. The freckles and moles that decorated his skin like a canvas were the same. His laugh was the same. “There’s just you that I haven’t gotten to know yet. Which is how anyone would be that I haven’t seen in three years.”

“See, so kind, so easygoing,” Donghyuck smiled. “You haven’t changed at all.

+

Between getting up early, the manual labour, and the rum, they end up asleep on the couch by noon.

It was the sound of Taeil's phone ringing that woke them. Taeil wakes up for the second that day with Donghyuck’s warm body wrapped around him. He didn’t push the younger man away, just dragged him along when reaching for his phone off the coffee table.

“Hey."

“ _ I’m so bored _ ,” Johnny said in greeting. “Please tell me you two are at least having fun.”

Taeil chuckled and turned the camera to show Donghyuck’s half-sleeping form still attached to his waist. “So much fun.”

“That’s fucking Hyuck for you.”

Taeil stiffened a bit at the choice of phrasing but decided it is probably best not to comment. “What about you?”

“Bad news. We’re not going to be there for Christmas. Our fight is now scheduled for the twenty-sixth.” Johnny said with a sigh. “I mean, we will still have time together. It's just disappointing.”

"Yeah,” Taeil agreed. He could feel Donghyuck's grip tighten on him. He was awake enough to hear the bad news. “At least you’re safe.”

“Yeah. Don’t let Hyuck be too sad over it.”

“I won’t. We actually are doing some holiday decorating. I’ll send you a picture of it later.”

“You better,” Johnny said in mock seriousness. “Okay, go decorate. I need something to look forward to.”

They say their goodbyes and then Taeil was poking Donghyuck’s cheek. “You hear what your brother said?”

“Yeah,” came the muffled response against Taeil’s shoulder. “Fucking sucks.”

“Let’s put up the tree. I can make more drinks.”

+

Getting the tree in the stand and upright is a whole other feat involving much profanity and eventually some string they found in the back of a closet for extra security. It was bigger than Taeil had imagined, practically touching the already high peak ceiling on the chalet. From the grin plastered across Donghyuck’s face, it was perfect. Worth it.

They dragged a ladder and several boxes of decorations up from the basement. They were all matching gold and white and absurdly fancy in Taeil’s opinion. After two more drinks, he didn't really care and just enjoyed himself.

"Hyung, pass me that sparkly dotted bulb,” Donghyuck instructed from atop the ladder.

Taeil found the bulb in question and brought it over to the bottom of the ladder, holding it up as high as he can for Donghyuck to reach. What he didn’t anticipate was his view being completely ass. At least Donghyuck had put his jeans back on once they were dried. But they really were too tight.

“Hyung, you’re not even trying to hand it to me,” Donghyuck whined, bringing Taeil back to the moment. “Come on!”

“Sorry.” Taeil shook his head. He hadn’t meant to get distracted. “It’s uh, just so sparkly.”

Donghyuck grabbed the bulb from his hand and chuckled. “The ornament? What are you, a cat?”

“Meow.”

“You’re fucking ridiculous,” Donghyuck said, climbing down the latter. He immediately threw his arms around Taeil’s neck, letting his entire weight drop on Taeil. “Good thing you’re my favourite hyung.”

“You’re fucking heavy,” Taeil groaned, reaching out as quickly as he could to grab Donghyuck, doing his best not to tip. “I mean that in the nicest way possible.”

“You’re also more than slightly inebriated,” Donghyuck added, and Taeil could hear the smile in his words. The bastard.

Taeil took a step backwards, trying to balance. He bumped into the couch and just gave up. The two of them collapsed into it, Donghyuck landing on top of him in a fit of laughter.

“You’re stronger than you look, actually,” Donghyuck offered, trying to catch his breath.

“Thanks,” Taeil rolled his eyes, chuckling. He was still being crushed. “You are a bit bigger than I remember.”

Finally catching his breath, Donghyuck laid his head on Taeil’s shoulder. “Can I tell you something, hyung?”

“What?”

“I don’t remember the last time I laughed this much. Not just now, but I mean the past few days. I haven’t enjoyed myself this much in a long time.”

“I don’t either,” Taeil replied. It was the truth.

After that, it didn’t take long before they were done decorating, or at least, done enough for Donghyuck to feel better about being stuck away from his family at Christmas. They curled up and watched another movie. By the end, Taeil was tired and had to drag himself to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth.

He came out of the bathroom to find Donghyuck sitting on the edge of his bed in pyjamas. He wasn’t playing on his phone or anything, just sitting there and staring out the big windows into the darkness outside.

“Hey,” Taeil lifted a brow. “What’s up?”

Donghyuck turned, looked at him, then frowned and blinked, as if surprised to see Taeil despite this being his bedroom. “Oh, um. I just wanted to tell you something,”

Walking over to the bed, Taeil climbed on and sat next to him. A million thoughts raced through his mind, but all that he was feeling was concern. “What is it?”

Beside him, Donghyuck wet his lips before turning and meeting Taeil’s steady gaze. “I just want to, uh, thank you. For being here. With me. I know we didn’t plan it like this, but of all the people I had to be stuck here with, I’m glad it’s you.”

Something tightened in Taeil’s chest and the corner of his mouth twitched up into a smile. That was unexpectedly sweet. It must be the booze talking. “Well, I’m glad I‘m stuck with you here, too.”

They smiled at each other for a moment before Donghyuck dropped his gaze to his lap.

Taeil waited. “Was there anything else?”

“Oh,” Donghyuck shook his head, standing. “No. Uh, goodnight, hyung. See you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight,” Taeil replied, watching Donghyuck slip out the door. He knew in his gut there was more, but he wasn’t going to push Donghyuck. He would talk when he needed to. Taeil still worried, though. The news of his family not coming for another few days hadn’t gone over well, even if Donghyuck hadn’t said much. The feeling of disappointment was clear.

Taeil fell asleep easily. He didn’t check the time when he was woken by Donghyuck climbing into his bed. Taeil didn’t say anything. He just wrapped an arm around Donghyuck and pulled him close.

Sleep came even easier the second time.

  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**December 24**

The pounding headache and sore muscles Taeil woke to hurt almost as much as the empty bed. He rolled onto his stomach, groaning into the pillow. He didn’t imagine Donghyuck, did he?

From elsewhere in the chalet, he could hear the younger man talking to someone on the phone. “No, I understand. Don’t worry about it.” Pause. “No, he’s fine too. Yeah, it’s fine.” Longer pause. “Shut up, it isn’t like that. I’m going to eat; I’ll text you later. Okay. Bye.”

Silence followed.

Reaching for his own phone, the muscles in his shoulders protesting, Taeil saw it was past nine on Christmas Eve. He ought to get up and shower. It took him another few minutes before he did.

“Hey,” he said in greeting, heading straight for the coffeemaker. He decided between the hallway and the living room not to acknowledge his bedfellow until Donghyuck did first. “Do you feel like you got hit by a truck too?”

“No, I’m not old,” Donghyuck said from the table, mouth full of leftovers from the night before.

Taeil frowned.

“I’m kidding.” He grinned. “My shoulders and back are killing me. And my abs too. I guess we are not lumberjacks, hyung.”

“Apparently fucking not,” Taeil muttered into his coffee.

“Do you want to go skiing today?”

The question drew Taeil’s eyes to the windows. Outside the sky was clear and impossibly blue. The snow sparkled like a Tiffany’s shop window. The mountainside looked perfectly picturesque and Taeil was suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to fuck it up, to leave a path in the snow dictating where he’s been.

“Yeah,” he nodded, ignoring the ache in muscles. “Let’s go.”

+

The snow was perfect and the trails heaven-sent. Taeil, an experienced skier, decided the whole trip despite its complete lack of his best friend, was worth it. What he didn’t expect was Donghyuck to tell him he’d never skied before, be shown the basics, and then be racing past him within the hour.

"I should have known your competitive ass would be a quick learner,” Taeil said as they leaned their skis against the chalet. It was midafternoon and the sunny sky was already starting to fade. “You were never one to get left behind.”

“Who knew skiing was so much fun!” Donghyuck grinned at him, cheeks rosy. “We will definitely have to go out some more now that I know. Next time I’ll bring my phone and we can take some videos to post.”

“Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow is Christmas.”

Taeil froze. “Shit. You’re right. I forgot.”

Donghyuck pushed past him, opening the door. “We can go skiing on Christmas, hyung. I mean, we have nothing better to do. It’s just the two of us.”

Following him inside, Taeil let out a sigh he hoped was muffled by the closing of the door. The warmth immediately washed over his face, thawing out the tip of his nose as he began to remove his many layers.

“Still, it should be special.”

“Every day can be special if you’re with the right person,” Donghyuck countered, hanging up his jacket. Their eyes met. “No pressure for tomorrow, okay?”

Part of this was clearly a cover for Donghyuck’s sadness and disappointment, missing his family, but Taeil couldn’t help but hear some truth in his words.

"Okay,” he agreed. “Now let’s eat, I’m fucking starving.”

+

They ate pasta out of the pot and drank more beer than they probably should have. Donghyuck found a Christmas dance playlist and hooked his phone up to the chalet’s speaker system. In one of the drawers, Taeil found a Ping-Pong ball and decided to show off his skills at beer pong.

"This is fun,” Donghyuck declared, watching as the ball once again landed in the glass at the other end of the kitchen island. He walked over and downed the beer. They had tried to find disposable cups, something less fragile, but had given up after five minutes. Hyuck said he would cover the costs of any damage done. “We are actually so fun. Why are we alone on Christmas Eve again?”

“Snowstorm.” Taeil caught the ball Donghyuck sent flying at his head. His shoulder ached, despite his buzz. “And we aren’t  _ alone  _ . We have each other.”

“Ah, Taeillie,” Donghyuck stuck out his bottom up, brows furrowing. “Are you still sore?”

“A bit, yeah.”

Something flickered in Donghyuck’s eyes. Which was never a good sign, in Taeil’s experience. It usually marked trouble. “I have a solution. For both of us. If you’re up for it.”

Taeil raised a brow in question. “What is it?”

"No spoilers,” Donghyuck said, flicking his arm. “Meet me on the back deck in half an hour. Be naked.”

Taeil let out a panicked laugh.

+

Downing another beer, wearing a fluffy robe he found in the bathroom and his boxers, Taeil found the thirty minutes somehow both dragged on and passed much too quickly. He’s sat on his bed, crossed legged, wondering what the fuck Donghyuck was thinking. Which was becoming a growing pastime of his.

Donghyuck couldn’t have been insinuating something salacious…could he? This was Johnny’s little brother. Except he wasn’t little anymore. He was a grown man and more successful than Taeil would ever be. At least financially. 

But it was still Donghyuck. Teasing, touching, whiny Donghyuck with a heart of gold. Who wanted Taeil to meet him outside. Naked.

He looked at his phone. The half-hour had passed. He ought to go outside, even if he didn’t completely follow the instructions. He wouldn’t want to leave Donghyuck waiting for him in the cold. With Taeil’s luck, there was a prank waiting for him. He shouldn’t leave it any longer.

The back deck wrapped around the north side of the chalet, looking out onto the mountainside. Taeil had never needed to venture out to it before now, carefully stepping outside in his slippers. There was a clear path shovelled, directing his way to one side. It didn’t take him long to find the surprise.

"Hyung!” Donghyuck greeted him from the hot tub. Steam rose in the light of the candles along its edges. His skin glowed golden, illuminating him like a god, like a beacon in the night. “You didn’t chicken out! I knew you’d join me.”

Two thoughts collided in Taeil’s mind like a car crash.

_ One _ : he didn’t need to be naked for this, that conniving bastard just wanted to get a rise out of him.

_ Two _ : Donghyuck might be naked.

“Of course,” he said, feigning confidence. He walked closer, dipping a hand into the warm water which bubbled vigorously. He didn’t  _ look _ , but between the bubbles and darkness of the night, he really couldn’t tell if Donghyuck had swimming shorts on.

"Are you going to hop in?”

Taeil nodded, taking off his robe and setting it on a chair that held towels. Goosebumps covered him. The hot tub was raised slightly, and there was a step that surrounded it. Taeil removed a slipper and took one step, then repeated the motion on the other side.

“Hyung, you can’t wear your boxers.”

Taeil froze. Somewhat literally – the evening alpine air was well below zero and he was just in his underwear. If he were to make a run for it back to the door, he’d have to be careful not to leave a scratch on the glass with how hard his nipples were. “What? Why not?”

“I mean,” Donghyuck scrunched up his nose dramatically. “It’s not really  _ proper _ , you know? Besides, you’re on holiday. You know the saying, when in Rome…”

“We’re not in Rome.” Taeil deadpanned, wrapping his arms around himself. It really was too cold to be having this conversation.

“Hyung, you didn’t fly all the way across the world to not properly enjoy a Scandinavian spa experience. Don’t you want to feel better? Isn’t your shoulder sore?”

There were times when it’s worth arguing your point, but as Taeil’s balls retreated from the cold, he realized he had to choose his battles. “Whatever, fine.”

He pretended he didn’t hear Donghyuck whisper “ _ yes _ !” in triumph as pulled down his boxers and got into the hot tub as quickly as possible. He sat down, the water dancing across the tops of his collarbones and let out a sigh of relief.

Looking at Donghyuck now, Taeil could appreciate how much the younger man had matured. He was drawn in broad, bold strokes at the body, with finer more delicate facial features. His shoulders were wide and strong, his upper body more toned than muscular, a healthy roundness softening the roughest edges. It contrasted nicely to the puff and curve of his lips. When lost in thought, teeth showed peaked through, hinting at his youth.

“See,” Donghyuck said with a grin, waving his arm in a wide gesture sweeping across the surface of the water. “It’s nice.”

Taeil had to admit that was at least true. He could already feel the tightness of his muscles relaxing. “Why didn’t we do this sooner?”

“Well,” Donghyuck said, sliding along the edge until he was seated directly beside Taeil, as if there wasn't an entire hot tub big enough for a small party. “I didn’t find it until this morning. Which really is a failure on my part, so I apologize.”

Their closeness shouldn’t have bothered Taeil. Donghyuck was always physically close, that’s just how he was. But the fact they were alone in the middle of the mountainside, in a hot tub, drunk, and naked on Christmas Eve, was  _ not  _ lost on him.

“Apology accepted.” He said with an uneasy smile.

Without warning, Donghyuck rose and leaned over the edge of the hot tub. His bare ass inches from Taeil’s head made him gasp softly. The question of nakedness was answered. He felt slightly lightheaded. It might have been from the hot water and steam. Maybe.

As quickly he'd stood, the water splashed as Donghyuck sat back down. Taeil let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

“Another beer, hyung?” He asked, holding two cans in his hands. “I also have cider if you’d prefer.”

“Sure,” Taeil accepted the drink.  _ I’m going to fucking need it. _

They sat there for a bit, soaking. Donghyuck talked away, as usual. He spoke of a million different things, but also somehow nothing at all. Skiing, the beer, Christmas, a restaurant he went to in Calgary. Taeil asked the needed questions, interjected appropriate exclamations at the climax of every story. He liked listening to Donghyuck talk and hearing the stories of the places he’d gone and things he’d done. There was something about the way Donghyuck saw the world as one big adventure with a laugh around every corner that Taeil adored. He could spend hours like this. He was sure Donghyuck wouldn’t mind.

"Are you feeling any better yet, hyung?”

It took a minute for Taeil to realize the question was not only directed at him but also warranted a response. “Yeah, a bit. I think the hot water is helping. Thanks for thinking of me.”

Donghyuck was watching him, candlelight dancing in his eyes. “It’s not a big deal. It’s hard to stop, really. “A droplet of water curved down his cheek. “Do you want me to rub your back?”

The beer was making his thoughts thick and slow. Taeil was struggling to swim to the meaning of Donghyuck’s words.

“I think I’m okay,” he managed. “My shoulder was bothering me the most, and it’s basically better.”

“No, hyung, it’s my fault,” Donghyuck said with a pout. “I was the one who wanted a damn Christmas tree. You only helped me out of the goodness of your heart. It’s my fault you’re all sore. This is the least I can do.”

“Oh, stop pouting,” Taeil laughed, turning his back to Donghyuck. “Have at it if you’re so eager.”

A rough grab of each shoulder was expected. A humorous jab of thumbs into Taeil’s shoulder blades. A full body shake that would splash water everywhere under Donghyuck’s confident and silly ministrations.

Except that didn’t come.

Taeil almost thought Donghyuck had changed his mind after a dozen seconds passed. He opened his mouth to say something when finally, featherlight fingertips brushed the nape of his neck. Donghyuck’s touch was barely there, slow and cautious as if he feared Taeil might change his mind.

He could hear Donghyuck’s steady, shallow breath, warm on the shell of his ear. He was so close, but his touch felt a million miles away, leaving Taeil yearning for more. After a moment had passed, fingers began to wander south. Donghyuck didn’t say anything as he lightly mapped Taeil’s spine with the pads of his fingers like he was an explorer, and he, Taeil, was newfound land.

Taeil felt goosebumps rise on his bare arms and neck. He didn’t think he could blame the cold.

"I uh, am not sure that’s helping,” Taeil said when he wasn’t sure if he could handle it anymore. The touch had been too intimate, sparking something low in his gut.

Instantly Donghyuck’s touch disappeared. “Oh. Sorry, hyung.” He grabbed Taeil’s shoulders more firmly, still gentle and free from the roughness initially anticipated. “Let me know how this is.”

Donghyuck’s hands moved in firm, steady, slow motions across the tight muscle of Taeil’s back. His thumbs arched under his shoulder blades, right into a knot, and Taeil instantaneously arched his back and let out a low groan.

The soft question breathed into his ear felt as heavy as a crumbling nation. “Is this okay, hyung?”

“Yes,” Taeil nodded, throat constricting. 

After that Donghyuck was ruthless. Not in the way Taeil had initially anticipated. No. He was trying his hardest to pull every little sound out of Taeil, every gasp, every moan. His hands worked like that of a sorcerer and once again, Taeil wished he could tell when Donghyuck was teasing him as he had for years. Or was this something different? Something new?

Donghyuck was so close to him. His body moulded around Taeil’s. One final firm roll of Donghyuck’s thumb into tight muscle ripped the word out of him.

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Taeil leaned away, pushing his back to the wall of the hot tub. He couldn’t let the younger man continue, not with the way things were headed. “Sorry.”

Donghyuck didn’t reach for him. His hands dropped back into the dark water.

They sat there, steam rising, moon high in the sky. The candles flickered in the cold, deep winter air.

Finally, Donghyuck broke the silence. “Only one more sleep until Christmas.”

Taeil nodded, leaning his head back. His heart was pounding like a drum in his chest. “Are you excited?”

“I don’t know,” Donghyuck sighed. “I used to think this time of year was so magical, nothing could top the feeling. But as I’ve gotten older that’s kind of disappeared. I mean, I still appreciate the lights and the food and everything, but that magical feeling…it’s gone.”

“Oh, Hyuckie,” he reached out and put a hand on Donghyuck’s shoulder. “Welcome to adulthood. I am so sorry.”

The tension broke. Their laughter filled the night air.

“But seriously, I swear it’s usually better than this when you’re around your family and people you love.” Taeil said. “I think that’s what makes celebrating things feel good, no matter what it is. Not the presents, and usually not even the real reason for gathering. It’s the people you’re sharing the time with. I’m sorry your family can’t be here.”

Turning his head to look at him, Donghyuck smiled. “It’s okay. You’re here.”

Taeil choked on his beer and almost slipped under the water. “Uh, but I'm not family? I mean, I’m just friends with your brother. Your stepbrother. That’s like not family at all. In my opinion.”

Donghyuck reached out for him, putting his hands on Taeil’s shoulders, ensuring he wasn’t about to slip into the water again. His eyebrows knitted together in concern, but the pull at the corner of his mouth hinted at laughter. “Hyung, are you okay? Maybe it’s time for bed.”

“What?” Taeil felt hot. Probably from the hot tub. Obviously. Or beer.

A moment passed before Donghyuck shook his head, clearly done with Taeil’s bullshit. “I haven’t seen much of you in recent years, but after this time together I’d like to think of you as a friend. What I meant is that you’re someone close and I care a lot about you. I know you haven’t been around too much, but it’s like you’re a constant, something stable I can count on, like  _ family _ . You're better in some ways, actually. They're not as cute as you.”

The words took a minute to sink in. Taeil couldn’t disagree with them (if he ignored the cute comment surely meant to tease him). If anything, he was once again flattered that Donghyuck thought so highly of him. He’d never been good at accepting compliments.

“Of course, you’re a friend,” he said, leaning over the side of the hot tub for a towel. He was careful to turn away from Donghyuck, the last shred of his modesty hanging on by a very sad and weak thread. He was too tired and fuzzy from the beer to deal with dick commentary. “And I understand what you mean. I do.”

“Alright, hyung,” Donghyuck relented. “Pass me a towel.”

The walk from the hot tub in their slippers to the door of the chalet was more of an Olympic sprint. Taeil ended up winning only because Donghyuck slipped and then Taeil unkindly kicked at him in the snow as he swung the door open.

“Hyung!” The betrayed cry came. “How could you?”

Once they were both inside with the door shut Taeil offered a sympathetic smile. “Sorry. Cold.”

In his room, Taeil changed into warm pyjamas flopped onto his bed and let out a yawn. He considered the day a win. Skiing, good food, great company. Excellent hot tub. Not a bad Christmas Eve. Taeil had definitely had worse.

The knock on his door didn't even surprise him.

“Hey, hyung,” Donghyuck entered unprompted. He had changed into plaid shorts and another one of his giant t-shirts. Taeil had a theory rich people bought plain basic clothing from fancy stores and ended up paying astronomical amounts for essentially the same things regular people had. And rich people simply did not care.

"Hey, Hyuckie.”

Donghyuck crawled onto the bed and crossed his legs. In a sombre voice, he said, “I wanted to wish you a happy Christmas Eve.”

If it was anyone else, Taeil would punch them in the arm and call them a loser. But this was Donghyuck. A Donghyuck he was trying to figure out.

“Happy Christmas Eve to you, too,” he said softly. It was getting harder to keep his eyes open. He lifted an arm and let it fall across the other pillows by way of invitation. “You getting in?”

“Is that okay?” Donghyuck asked, leaving a million other things unspoken between them. “I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“If it wasn’t okay, I wouldn’t have asked you,” Taeil yawned. “It’s your choice.”

In under a minute the lights were off, Donghyuck was beside him in bed, and Taeil was nearly asleep. He almost felt guilty about one of his best Christmas Eve’s being Donghyuck’s worst. Almost.

  
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u have post notifications on for this fic I'm so sorry lol im struggling

**December 25**

Everyone had different holiday traditions. It wasn’t one of Taeil’s to wake with a young man nuzzling his neck on Christmas morning. But there was a first time for everything.

He was also hot. Like impossibly hot beneath the duvet and Donghyuck. Why had he worn such warm pyjamas last night? He was also thirsty. And he had to pee.

Taeil tried to move. Donghyuck had an iron grip. He barely shifted an inch.

“Hyuck.”

“Hmm?”

“It’s time to get up.” Taeil patted his arm gently.

“Hmm. Comfy.”

Taeil was going to die in this bed. At least Donghyuck would keep his corpse warm.

“Please.”

“Taeilie, please,” Donghyuck mumbled sleepily into Taeil’s skin. Even his breath was hot.

He needed a new approach. “It’s  _ Christmas  _ .”

Donghyuck sat up. He looked down at Taeil, eyes wide. “Hyung, it’s Christmas! Why are you still in bed?”

+

They made coffee and headed to the living room. It was barely light out. Taeil turned on the fireplace, again amazed that he was here. This was where he was spending Christmas. Having rich friends really had perks.

They sat down on the sofa together, Donghyuck wrapping himself in a blanket. Then Taeil’s phone rang.

“It’s my parents,” he said, answering it. It was exactly what he expected – good wishes and a run down of what they’d done so far. They said hello to Donghyuck who suddenly was a Polite Young Man. They told them to eat well and enjoy the day. Taeil said as much to them before hanging up.

“They’re several hours ahead,” he said, setting his phone on the coffee table. “And I guess we can’t call your family yet because they’re several hours behind. We can later though.”

Donghyuck nodded in agreement. “Their gifts are all here. They’ll have to just open them when they get here, I guess.”

“Better late than never.” He glanced at the presents under the tree. “Do you want your present?”

Donghyuck’s eyes lit up. “You got me a present?”

“It’s not much.” He warned, getting up and grabbing it from beneath the tree. He sat down on the sofa next to Donghyuck and handed it over.

When Taeil had bought his Christmas gifts, he hadn’t put much thought into them. He’d gotten Johnny a cool jacket he’d pointed out when shopping together, Johnny’s parents matching slippers. And Donghyuck’s gift was an impulse buy done in the middle of the summer, Christmas not even on his mind. He’d bought it and kept on the dresser in his bedroom in Seoul, waiting for the next time he’d see his best friend’s little brother. It was harder now that he was famous. This vacation was simply the first time he’d actually managed to see Donghyuck.

“I know it’s not much,” Taeil repeated, “but it made me think of you.”

The wrapping paper was ripped apart in seconds, falling to the floor.

“I love it,” Donghyuck said softly, a smile spreading across his face. The navy journal in his hand was embossed in gold with the tarot card of the Sun. “Do you know what the Sun card means?”

Taeil shook his head.

“It’s the Major Arcana card of positivity, optimism, freedom and fun. It basically personifies success and happiness. It means the universe has come together and has agreed to support and help you on your journey to something greater.”

“I just thought it was pretty,” Taeil confessed. “But I’m glad you like it. I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything more.”

Without warning Donghyuck threw his arms around him, hugging him tightly. He pressed a wet kiss into Taeil’s cheek dramatically. “Thank you, hyung. It’s perfect.”

When Donghyuck pulled away, his happy face had morphed into something Taeil had rarely seen before. Bashful? Lee Donghyuck was  _ not  _ a bashful person. “I have a confession to make.”

Taeil shifted nervously on the sofa. “Oh?”

“I might have lied when I told you I didn’t know you were going to be here.”

Taeil chuckled, watching as Donghyuck got up to search for something behind the Christmas tree. “Might have?”

“Okay, hyung, I lied.” He stood in triumph, holding a small black velvet box with a red bow. “I knew you were coming and got you a gift accordingly. Don’t freak out.”

Eyes flickering between the small box in Donghyuck’s hands and his face, Taeil let out a nervous laugh. “Um, okay?”

He took the box cautiously. He stared at it. It was bigger than a ring box, maybe the size of his hand. 

“Hurry up and open it, hyung!”

Taking a deep breath, Taeil opened the box. “Shit, Hyuckie.”

Inside was a set of gold drop earrings. From the stud, a delicate chain held a coin-sized diamond-encrusted crescent moon. The back of each earring had a short chain as well, ending in a pointed starburst. It too was covered in diamonds that caught and danced in the early morning light.

“When they’re worn they will hang so the star sits perfectly inside the moon,” Donghyuck said carefully, biting his lip. “I know you usually wear plain earrings, but I thought these would really…suit you.”

The gold and the diamonds twinkled mockingly at him. Taeil considered putting the box on the coffee table, fearing he might drop it. “Please tell me these aren’t real diamonds.”

Donghyuck glanced at the fire. Then the Christmas tree. Then out the window where the Sun was slowly ascending in the sky between the treetops.

“Hyuck?” Taeil prompted.

“You said don’t tell you!”

“Oh my god,” Taeil looked down at the earrings again. He counted. Each crescent moon had fifteen tiny diamonds. Each starburst had sixteen medium diamonds at the centre and another sixteen tiny diamonds on the strokes out. “Where did you even get this? They can’t just have something like this at fucking COEX.”

“They don’t,” Donghyuck confirmed. He took a sip of his coffee, avoiding Taeil’s eyes. “I had them custom made. By a woman in Paris. One of a kind.”

This information, said so casually, started a panic inside Taeil. The diamonds themselves would be several hundreds of thousands. Then there was the gold. The custom design. By someone who clearly was a master at their craft. In Paris. The number kept growing. And then there was the fact that Donghyuck, who he had not seen in  _ three years  _ before  _ four days ago _ , had thoughtfully had them made for  _ him  _ .

“Hyuck. What the fuck?”

Donghyuck set his mug down. He flashed a sheepish grin, cheeks well and properly flushed. At least the bastard knew enough to feel embarrassed. “Well, are you going to put them on? I’ve been dying to see how they’d look.”

“You know I can’t accept these,” Taeil said, holding the box out.

“Sure, you can!” Donghyuck countered. He took the box from Taeil’s hand, only to remove the earrings and hold them up. They sparkled even more without the satin cushion. “Take off your hoops.”

Taeil starred him in the eye, pleading. He didn’t know what he could do. Donghyuck was making all of this so hard. 

Donghyuck looked back, his wide smile dropping, his gaze turning more earnest. The Christmas lights reflected in familiar brown eyes, so deep Taeil was sure if he looked too long he would get lost in. “Please, hyung?”

He always gave into Donghyuck. His hamartia. Johnny had always hated that about him.

Setting his hoops down on the table, he took the box from Donghyuck and picked up the other earring. “I’ll do the right ear. You do the left one.”

Carefully, he put on the earring, ensuring it was secure before turning to look at Donghyuck. He wouldn’t want to be dropping these.That would have Taeil falling to his knees in fear. Anyone else who was gifted these earrings would surely be falling to their knees in thanks . “Are they on the right way? Do they look good?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck blinked. His mouth hung open slightly as his eyes drank Taeil in. It was almost obscene the way he stared. “You look stunning.”

Taeil knew he couldn’t fight Donghyuck on this, no matter how absurd it was. He would never win. But he was still so completely, and utterly, confused. Why this? Why  _ him  _ ? He’d done absolutely nothing to warrant such a personalized and luxurious gift. Who gives a gift like this to someone they haven’t seen in years? To their brother’s friend?

“If this is what you got me, I’m dying to know what you got for your family!” He laughed awkwardly, glancing at the remaining presents under the tree. “Are there just keys here and Benz in the garage back home?”

Still staring at him, Donghyuck rolled his eyes. “Don’t be stupid. I got my parent's watches and perfume. Johnny-hyung got sunglasses and shoes.”

“I’m assuming fancy shoes?”

“Limited edition.”

The gifts were nice, Taeil would admit that. But they were also much less extravagant. Less personal, than what he had received. Maybe he’d have to see everyone else open their presents before he could really make the call if Donghyuck had lost his mind. Or try to make sense of whatever the fuck had just happened.

“We should make breakfast.” Taeil eventually said. He was still in shock, stupefied and unsure how to proceed. “What do you want?”

“Hyungie!” Donghyuck wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tight for the second time that morning. At least this time he didn’t have to pee.

Taeil couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face as he hugged him back. “Hyuckie. I am kind of hungover. Please. Feed me.”

“Fine. But you have to keep your earrings on all day, okay?”

“Alright,” Taeil agreed. It was a small concession.

+

They spent Christmas together cooking and eating. Playing pop music over the speakers and singing along. They took photos of it all, of course, the decorations, the food, the landscape outside. Haechan even posted a few. It was mere minutes before the like count was in the millions.

They called Johnny and his parents. They were having their own mini celebration in their hotel room. They were also already packing up again for the flight tomorrow. Finally.

“Fucking hell,” Johnny squinted at the screen when he saw Taeil. “From what vault did you steal those earrings from?”

Taeil flushed. He’d forgotten he was wearing them. In the camera he looked at himself, the earrings catching in the light as they dangled, the moon stopping right above his jaw. “They were a gift.”

“From who? The Queen?”

Donghyuck waved. “Not quite.”

Johnny barked out a laugh. “Subtle. Very nice. Where the hell are you going to wear those?”

Taeil had been wondering the same thing. He wasn’t one for sparkle usually.

"Everywhere,” Donghyuck answered for him. “There’s no such thing as overdressed.”

Johnny laughed through the phone. “Good luck with that, Taeil.”

Luck was something Taeil feared he may need.

+

They were both a bit sore from the tree chopping and maybe too aggressive skiing. They decided to leave it, to start back on the trails the next day. The hot tub and massage had helped though, Taeil had to admit. A lazy Christmas was something he was okay with though. He had good company and that was more than enough.

“Were you serious about lessons?” He asked in the early afternoon. They were cross-legged on the rug in the sitting room. They’d been talking for at least an hour, sharing memories of past Christmases. 

That perked Donghyuck’s attention. “Like music lessons? Of course.”

While Donghyuck at twenty had fame and money from his musical career, it was Taeil who had dedicated his life to music since before they’d even met. His university was the top in the country, highly prestigious and nearly impossible to get into.

“Your company has taught you some stuff,” Taeil said, “but it’s nothing like my music program.”

“Trust me, I know,” Donghyuck said. “Whenever I mentioned I have a friend who teaches there to my staff they all can’t believe it. Especially because of how young you are.”

He hadn’t thought Donghyuck talked about him, let alone to people in the industry. But then again, it seemed every day he was further realizing how much the younger man admired him. Which was perhaps something to be feared.

“You know what Johnny-hyung always said about you?”

“What?”

Donghyuck quirked a brow and looked at him lazily. “That you are so chill and funny because you don’t fear anything. That you can’t, not after defeating the university entrance exams.”

Taeil snorted. “Your fucking brother would say that.” Then, “do you still know how to play the piano?”

He showed Donghyuck the grand piano in the adjoining room – the younger having no clue of its existence. He insisted on Taeil playing a song and singing for him. The little resistance Taeil had to Donghyuck was becoming somewhat alarming. Johnny would be horrified.

“You’re the famous singer,” he said, hands resting on the keys. He wondered how many people dreamed of the chance to hear Donghyuck sing live. Hundreds? Thousands? More?

“You’re the better singer,” Donghyuck countered, sitting down next to him. “Technically, I mean. And more experienced. I’m not sucking up, I swear. Please, hyung? Sing for me.”

First, he played a classical song, just to warm up his fingers. He’d been coming here and playing nearly every day when Donghyuck snuck off to play video games. But he was used to daily training and practice, not just of himself, but of students. When he finished, he decided to play a familiar pop Christmas song, singing all the parts that the boy group split.

Donghyuck beamed at him, listening, rapt. He sang along softly at parts, but let the song be Taeil’s. When he was done, Donghyuck just sighed. “See. That’s why you’re my favourite hyung.”

They spend a few hours at the piano, taking turns playing it for each other. They laughed, they gave no mercy when the other missed a note or played too slow. Their voices sounded good together, something Taeil had never really considered until now. They would have to perform for Johnny and his parents when they finally arrived. 

At some point they forgot about the piano, closing it and going back to just talking. Donghyuck was leaning his arms crossed on the piano, his head resting atop. He was staring at Taeil again as the room slowly darkened, the days still so short. The realization that his best friend’s little brother has grown into a handsome man with pretty eyes and a lazy smile hits Taeil suddenly.

“What are you thinking about?” Taeil asked, shifting self-consciously. Johnny wasn’t wrong; he wasn’t really scared of anything. He knew that if he worked hard, he was more likely to get better results. If shit turned out bad, that was okay, too. He could just try harder next time. So much of life wasn’t worth getting worked up about. The Earth still turned. But Donghyuck – the way he saw Taeil was unnerving. It almost scared him.

“You,” Donghyuck replied simply. Taeil couldn’t tell if he was dodging the question or if that was the vaguest form of the truth. Donghyuck  _ was  _ looking at him.

“Why?”

“You’re so handsome,” Donghyuck said. “You look good in your earrings.”

More compliments. Taeil could feel his face heating. “Don’t you think they’re a bit much?”

“No. They’re perfect. Made for you, and only you.”

That’s what Taeil didn’t understand. Why him? Why these beautifully crafted pieces of jewellery? He didn’t deserve them. He was winnowing through the facts but nothing that made sense was appearing. He didn’t understand Donghyuck or this gift or what any of it meant.

Leaving so much unvoiced, he asked the easiest of the questions. “But why the Sun and Moon?”

Donghyuck scrunched up his nose, looking at him like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You don’t get it? Come on, hyung!”

“What? Because I’m  _ Moon  _ Taeil?” He asked. “Am I suddenly the god of all celestial bodies?”

“Hyung,” Donghyuck said, sitting up and shaking his head exasperatedly. “It was supposed to represent  _ you  _ , yes. But not you  _ alone  _ .”

It’s then that Taeil remembered the Sun is also a star.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kassy picked gifts not me  
> also the only real thing I would point to is the "it made me think of you" and "I just thought it was pretty" thing like lmao k subtle dude


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i got distracted reading the priory of the orange tree but will finish this fic asap lol also this is kind of a filler chapter but oh well

**December 26**

Johnny texted when he and his parents were boarding their plane.

“It’s going to be weird when they finally get here,” Donghyuck said, dropping his phone into his jacket pocket. He used it everywhere it could pick up a signal, overseas charges meaning nothing to him at this point.  _ Money is meant to be spent  _ , is what he’d told Taeil. And Taeil, who was still reeling from the Christmas gift he’d received, had no retort.

Stepping into his skis a few feet away, Taeil was focusing on soaking up a little bit of sun that had decided to peek through a break in the ever-looming clouds. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve gotten used to it just being us here,” Donghyuck replied, pushing himself forward and leaving two thin lines of tracks in the snow. He had on a thick black headband covering his ears and yellow-tinted ski goggles. “I almost forgot that this isn’t a vacation just for us.”

That was something Taeil couldn’t relate to. Though it was difficult to imagine their time at the chalet with the rest of Donghyuck’s family now, their looming presence was not one Taeil had been able to shake. He could never afford to come on a trip like this and to stay somewhere as remote and luxurious as the chalet, not even on a professor’s salary. He might have managed a cheap hotel or a basic tourist trip, but nothing like this.

There was also the fact he had spent two months planning on spending time with his best friend. Johnny not being here had completely changed Taeil’s experience, though Donghyuck did make up for it in his way. Which led to the last point, which was that every time he looked at Donghyuck a bit too long, Johnny appeared in the back of his mind. He was trying not to read into that.

“If this is you asking me to come on another vacation with you, I won’t say no.” Taeil grabbed his ski poles and pushed himself forward. He headed down the starting trail from the chalet that branched out about a kilometre in. From the chalet everything was downhill, leaving them a long snakelike journey back up the mountainside. “Maybe somewhere warmer next time.”

"Really, hyung?” Donghyuck asked from behind him accompanied by the satisfying smooth sound of skis running over pristine snow. “You would want to do that? With me?”

“I don’t see why not,” Taeil said. He lifted a pole as he went by, hitting the evergreen’s massive branch, heavy with snow. The trees along the trail were all ancient and massive, canopying them at narrow spots.

As intended, the snow fell directly onto Donghyuck. “Hyung!”

Taeil laughed, picking up speed. He had so far stuck to the routes mapped as easy, considerate of Donghyuck still being new to the sport. But today was a new day. “Which way do you want to go?”

“Hyung, stop changing the subject!” Donghyuck skied up beside him. “I asked you a question!”

“Yes. I said I don’t see why I wouldn’t go on another vacation with you.”

“Just me?’

Taeil glanced beside him, but he couldn’t read Donghyuck’s expression beneath his goggles. “If that’s what you wanted.”

“Don’t you think Johnny would be weird?”

“How so?” Taeil turned right, taking a medium level trail. Donghyuck would keep up. He had always been good at that.

“I don’t know,” Donghyuck said, bending his knees to slalom around a small tree. “Jealous?”

The truth was, Taeil didn’t know how his best friend would react. Johnny knew that Donghyuck adored him, maybe he’d just see it as more favouritism, just on a bigger scale now that his little brother could afford to. It wasn’t like Donghyuck hadn’t made it clear he was comfortable spending money on Taeil whether he approved of it or not – the earrings were proof of that. The only thing that cast a shadow of doubt and uncertainty was the fact that their three years without seeing each other before now hadn’t affected Donghyuck at all.

But jealous? Taeil had never seen Johnny as the jealous kind. He might make a joke or two, but Taeil doubted he’d be jealous that his little brother was spending time with Taeil. They were all adults now after all. Both Donghyuck and Taeil could spend their time with whomever they pleased.

“I doubt it,” Taeil answered finally. “He might be surprised at first. But Jealous? Nah, he has more important things to worry about.”

"What about you? Would you be weird?”

Taeil frowned, focusing on the trail ahead. “Am I weird now? We’ve been alone on vacation for almost a week now.”

“Only a bit, hyung,” Donghyuck said, pushing past him to ride the slight decline of the trail. “But I like it, so don’t worry.”

Blinking and baffled, Taeil raced after him.

As the days passed, Donghyuck just confused him more. Taeil couldn’t tell what his deal was or what he wanted. Was it just to rile him up and be a little bastard? Or was some of the teasing genuine affection in addition to the already piling up physical adoration? Taeil couldn’t make sense of any of it. It felt wrong to read into any of it too much, this was his best friend’s little brother after all. But it was so hard not to, especially when he woke to warm limbs wrapped around his own and continuously caught lingering gazes.

Whatever this was, Taeil had to admit he liked it as he chased after Donghyuck’s tracks in the snow.

+

When they got back from skiing Taeil decided to shower, leaving Donghyuck to make them a late lunch. His toes were cold, but the rest of him hadn’t been bothered by the outdoors. It helped that they were moving, their bodies heating up with the exercise.

In as fancy of a shower as the one attached to his room, Taeil didn’t mind taking his time. The warm water melted his frozen limbs, washed away any sweat he’d worked up. Any stress in his back was released.

When his right hand drifted between his legs, he sought a different kind of release. He squeezed his eyes shut, head pressed against his forearm leaning against the shower wall, left hand in a tight fist. At twenty-six, this was old hat. The flicker of Donghyuck when he came, Donghyuck’s blunted nails, his lips parted and wet, his skin molten gold that night in the hot tub - that was new.

“ _ Fuck _ .”

As he dressed, Taeil pushed back the feelings of guilt that crept in the back of his mind. It wasn’t like Taeil hadn’t gotten off to unsavoury shit before. Hell, half the time he cringed and closed the tab immediately post-orgasm. But this was different. This was  _ Donghyuck _ . Sassy, smart-mouthed, playful, Donghyuck. His best friend’s little brother. Who was undeniably attractive. It didn’t mean anything, did it?

Taeil found the younger man sitting on a barstool in the kitchen, writing in his new notebook. Something twisted in his gut at the sight of his gift being used, something much different than the feeling he’d had twenty minutes earlier.

“What are you writing?” He asked, removing the lid of a pot that was bubbling on the stove. Soup.

“I don’t know yet,” Donghyuck said, not glancing up. “Song lyrics maybe. We’ll see.”

That surprised him. He didn’t know Donghyuck wrote music. “My ear is available anytime you want to share.”

Donghyuck put down the pen and closed his notebook, running a hand over the gold embossing. “It’s kind of private, hyung. But thanks for offering.” 

Taeil’s brows lifted in surprise. With all the things he knew about Donghyuck, he hadn’t considered privacy was something the other valued when it came to their friendship. Donghyuck was so open, wasn’t he? “Oh, okay. Thanks for cooking.”

“No problem.”

A tense silence fell between them, the sound of the soup boiling on the stove filling the room. Taeil found a spoon and stirred it, wondering what Donghyuck would want to keep private from him. He thought on a musical front they were open to each other, Donghyuck eager for his feedback given his profession. But then again, the creative process could be a messy and vulnerable one. He shouldn’t judge.

There was also the fact that something had shifted since Christmas morning. The unspoken words between them were growing more palpable with each passing hour. Taeil couldn’t help but second guess everything Donghyuck did. The extravagant gift cast everything in a new light. The affection that had always been expected now was laced with deeper connotations. Their shared laughter and lingering gazes leaving want for something more. Neither of them acknowledged this.

As they ate, snow began to fall once more. Johnny texted to let them know they landed in Zurich, but the city was practically at the standstill with the weather. They would try to get to the chalet when they could but didn’t know when that would be.

When it was dark, they retreated into Donghyuck’s room to play video games. They were both competitive, both ruthless when it came to the fictional combat. It let them spend time together without having to think or say too much. A much-needed distraction from everything else that was leaving Taeil confused.

If left to his own devices, Donghyuck surely would have played until the early morning hours. Taeil, used to somewhat of a more fixed schedule, began yawning closer to ten.

“Tired?” Donghyuck asked, pausing the game.

Taeil nodded, setting down the controller. He stretched his arms above his head.

“We can go to bed,” Donghyuck said. “Go brush your teeth.”

The use of  _ we  _ didn’t catch up to Taeil until was leaving the bathroom and climbing into his bed. He laid there and wondered if Donghyuck had wanted him to sleep in his room. Deciphering what the younger man’s words meant was becoming a habit. Taeil’s question was answered a few minutes later when Donghyuck appeared, hair wet and skin smelling of citrus.

He flopped onto bed next to Taeil, wrapping arms around him. “Goodnight, hyung.” His breath was warm on Taeil’s neck and smelled of mint. Donghyuck sighed. “This might be our last night alone.”

Taeil hadn’t been thinking about that. He glanced out the window. By now, the sky was dredged with stars. He wondered if Donghyuck would go back to sleeping in his own bed once his family was here. A darker part of him wondered if Donghyuck wanted his words to spark something, was a question, and invitation for something more.

He needed to get his shit together.

He closed his eyes. “Night, Hyuck.”

**  
  
  
  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**December 27**

Sipping on coffee, Taeil watched the sunrise over the mountain tops, slowly illuminating the snow-covered treetops. If he had his phone, he would have taken a picture to send to his family back home. Except his phone was on his bedside table. He hadn’t thought to grab it after fleeing his bed after waking to a half-hard Donghyuck pressed against his side.

It wasn’t a big deal. At least, that’s what Taeil was telling himself. Just like what happened yesterday in the shower didn’t mean anything. Shit happened when you're stuck alone with someone in the middle of nowhere for a week, right?

It was the masochist in him that decided to call Johnny.

“Why the hell are you awake?” Was Johnny’s polite greeting.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Taeil countered. “Just kidding, I was hoping you would be fucked from jet-lag.”

“That I am,” Johnny admitted with a sigh. “So.”

“So.”

“It seems like we will not be joining you two quite yet.”

Taeil frowned into his coffee. “Why not? You’re in the country, right?”

“Yeah, but the snow has everything slowed down. It sounds like another day or two before the mountain roads will be cleared.”

“Shit.”

“I know, I bet you’re regretting saying yes to joining me on vacation now, huh,” Johnny chuckled. “Aren’t we having so much fun together?”

Taeil ignored the sarcasm. “Hyuck and I have been making the most of it. Once he got over the fact you guys weren’t going to make it for Christmas, he’s let himself just enjoy his time here. He’s gotten pretty good at skiing, I’m impressed.”

"That’s Hyuck for you,” Johnny said, and Taeil could hear the smile on his face. “Are you going out again today?”

“Probably. Not much else to do.”

“No cabin fever yet?”

“Ah, not yet,” Taeil replied. “Maybe give it a few more days.”

“I’m going to go find some breakfast, what about you?”

The sun was still slowly climbing above the mountains, hinting at a sunny day to come. “Yeah,” Taeil said, standing and stretching. “I should also procure some breakfast. Your brother will surely be up sooner or later looking to devour something.”

“Again, that’s Hyuck for you.”

“I’ll tell him the shitty news,” Taeil sighed, heading down the hall, his slippers silent on the shining hardwood. “But not until after he’s eaten.”

“You always were a smart man,” Johnny answered. “Talk to you later.”

Looking into the fridge, Taeil decided pancakes seemed like an easy enough choice. He was on his third cup of coffee by the time Donghyuck wandered out, face puffy and hair a mess. His roots had started to grow in. The black was a reminder of how much of Donghyuck had changed with age and fame, but he was still the same boy Taeil had always adored.

“Hi, hyung,” he mumbled in greeting, rubbing at his eyes with the heel of his palm.

“Hi, Hyuckie.” Taeil filled a plate with pancakes and a cup with coffee and set them both down in front of the younger man. “Sleep well?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck yawned, pouring enough syrup to drown a small army onto his plate. “I dreamed about you.”

Taeil froze. “Me?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck said, voice still soft and raspy from sleep. “It was a good dream, don’t worry, hyung.”

He finished his cup of coffee and set it beside the sink. Taeil let the topic drop. He had to, for the sake of his sanity. “Up for more skiing? It doesn’t sound like your family will be here for another day or two because of the roads.”

Mouth full, chipmunk cheeked and shameless, Donghyuck shrugged. “Only if you are, hyung.”

+

They skied all morning and took a short break for lunch. By the afternoon Taeil was eager for a change of scenery and turned down a harder trail. It had steeper slopes, sharper turns, a few obstacles if you were feeling ambitious.

He was lost in his thoughts, watching Donghyuck ahead of him on the trail as they made their way back towards the chalet. Maybe when they got back, he’d offer Donghyuck a beer and just be blunt. He could ask if he treated all his friends this way now that he was rich.

He caught sight of it in the corner of his vision: a half-hidden baby tree. Donghyuck, speeding along as fast as ever, clearly didn’t see it.

Taeil’s breath caught in his throat, the warning he wanted to call out already moot.

Snow flew into the air as Donghyuck’s ski caught the tree, flinging him forward. He landed a few away, flat on his back.

Taeil’s blood turned to ice.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Donghyuck moaned, laying in the snow. He pushed his goggles off his face, chest heaving.

It was all Taeil could do to get there as fast as he could. “Are you okay?” He pulled up beside Donghyuck, stepping out of his skis and falling to his knees. “Tell me where it hurts?”

“My knee,” Donghyuck coughed, his breath a pale plume in the cold air. “The fall knocked the breath out of me. But it’s my knee, fuck.”

“Do you think it’s broken?” Taeil reached down and brushed some of the snow from Donghyuck’s face. “Should I call someone?”

“No, no,” Donghyuck coughed again. “Just let me catch my breath. It’s probably just twisted, or just bent the wrong way. I hit it when I landed. I’ll be fine.”

Dread and guilt washed over Taeil as he reached for Donghyuck’s hand, taking it in his own. This was his fault. He was the one who went down this trail. He should have been paying more attention.

“Hyung, calm down,” Donghyuck said after a minute had passed. He sat up, offering a small smile, but Taeil could tell it was tainted with pain. “I’m fine. Let’s get back. I could use a cup of your special hot chocolate.”

“Do you think you can walk?” Taeil asked. The sun had already begun to descend behind the trees. If they got stuck out here at night things could turn sour quickly.

“Yeah,” Donghyuck said, reaching to release his other foot from the ski he still had. But when he went to put weight on his knee, a low hiss came out and he fell back into the snow. “Maybe not yet.”

“Fuck,” Taeil’s brows furrowed with worry. “I’m sorry. I’ll carry you and come back for our equipment later, okay? Can you at least manage to get onto my back?”

They were nearly back to the chalet, a small blessing. Taeil didn’t know what he would have done otherwise. It wasn’t a long walk, but the weight of Donghyuck and his injury were heavy on Taeil. He was exhausted by the end.

It was dark by then, the lights from the chalet their only reprieve. He sat Donghyuck down on the stone steps, grateful that he’d taken the time to shovel them clear that morning before they’d left. At the time he had been thinking that he hadn’t wanted Donghyuck to get hurt, and now _this_ had happened.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to call someone?” Taeil asked, biting his lip until a metallic taste filled his mouth. He couldn’t help but feel like this was all his fault. He knew this was Donghyuck’s first time skiing, and yet he had assumed the younger man would be fine on more advanced trails. He was foolish, and now Donghyuck was hurt because of him. “We could drive down to the hospital in the nearest town.”

“Hyung,” Donghyuck looked up at him, cheeks ruddy with cold and nose dripping. It had begun to snow again. Flakes frosted in his eyelashes and caught in his hair. “I’ll be fine.”

It was then that Taeil realized that maybe what he felt for Donghyuck was something more. It shouldn’t have been then, with Donghyuck hurt, cold, and a mess - but maybe it was the vulnerability of the moment. The realization that Donghyuck, even with his wildfire personality, quick and all-consuming, warm with affection and sharp with his tongue, was fragile. Taeil had promised he would take care of him. And he’d failed.

“Let’s get you warmed up inside,” Taeil said, throat constricting. “I’ll take a look at your knee.”

Donghyuck acquiesced, wrapping an arm around Taeil’s shoulder. Slowly, they made their way up and into the warmth of the chalet. He didn’t fight Taeil unzipping his jacket for him, or removing the headband, undoing his boots, or helping him step out of the ski pants. The only protest came when Taeil tried to fix his hair, pushing it back off his forehead with stiff cold fingers.

“Hyung, come on.”

In his bed, Donghyuck propped up his knee under an impressive pile of pillows and rolled up his sweatpants. His skin beneath was already turning a delightful shade of purple. “I swear it’s not that bad.”

“An excellent bruise,” Taeil said through gritted teeth. The thought of Donghyuck hurting hurt him in return.

“Hyung, don’t stress,” Donghyuck said, reaching for the television remote. “I think this is just from landing on it. I don’t think it’s twisted or anything.”

Taeil gave him a doubtful look. “At least let me get you an icepack.”

“Hot chocolate?”

“Fine, but don’t move,” Taeil ordered. He would have to be quick. He didn’t trust Donghyuck not to disobey him just for the sake of it. “I’m serious, Hyuck. Don’t fucking move.”

Donghyuck lifted a brow, the corner of his mouth twitching into a too familiar smirk. “Or what? You going to punish me, hyung?”

Taeil retreated to the kitchen. He grabbed an icepack, made a sandwich, added a little something extra to the hot chocolate then, with fresh determination, headed back to the bedroom. He wasn’t going to break his promise just because Donghyuck liked to tease and he was newly weakened by his attractiveness. Taeil would be strong. A proper hyung.

Donghyuck was limping towards the bathroom.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Taeil demanded, setting down the icepack, mug, and plate on the bedside table before running to his side.

“You know, hyung,” Donghyuck said once Taeil had his arms around his waist and he was helping Donghyuck to the edge of the bathtub. “My knee does rather hurt. And I remembered I have some painkillers from my tour in my bag by the sink.”

Taeil had to laugh, the only other options were pushing Donghyuck into the bathtub or breaking down crying out of concern. “Yeah, you fucking wiped out good, I bet your knee hurts.” He sighed, turning to the sink, and grabbing the aforementioned bag. “You know you could have waited literally three minutes and I could have brought it to you.”

“Ah, hyung,” Donghyuck teased. ‘Where’s the fun in that?”

He found the painkillers easily enough, scanning the bottle before unscrewing it and tapping two into the palm of his hand. He held them out to Donghyuck. “You’re a little shit, you know that?”

“Yeah, but you love it.” Donghyuck laughed, opening his mouth wide. The action was equal parts childish and obscene. Or perhaps, Taeil just needed to go take another shower. A really long one.

“Really?” Taeil sighed, dropping the pills into Donghyuck’s open mouth. He filled the glass beside the sink with water and handed it over with a shake of his head. “What the hell am I going to do with you, Hyuck?”

“Love me, feed me, never leave me,” Donghyuck replied after emptying the glass. “Also, get out I have to pee.”

Taeil could only roll his eyes as he shut the bathroom door behind him. At least Donghyuck’s knee didn’t seem bad enough to tamper with his sass. That was a good sign, right?

“Hyung!” Came the call a few minutes later. Taeil went back in, but before he could attempt to put an arm around him, Donghyuck was leaping towards him. Arms and a good leg wrapped around him like a koala…a koala with the strength of a twenty-year-old man.

“Oh my god,” Taeil groaned, quickly grabbing a hold of Donghyuck. “Why would you do that?”

"I missed you!” Donghyuck cackled into his ear.

Taeil carried Donghyuck back to his bed, dropped him there, and glared half-heartedly. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“I know.”

An ice pack in place, sandwich demolished, and on his third hot chocolate with even more rum, Donghyuck had trapped Taeil in his bed.

“Hyung, what are you going to do when you get back to Seoul?” Donghyuck asked. He had Taeil’s left hand and had been lacing their fingers together absentmindedly for the better part of an hour.

“I mean, probably shower in my own bathroom and go to bed. Go grocery shopping. Visit my parents and sister. Check my work email I have been dutifully ignoring.”

Donghyuck’s cheeks were rosy from the rum and he hummed against Taeil’s arm which he had cuddled up to. “Can I come?”

“What do you mean?”

“Can I come home with you? Go grocery shopping. Visit your family.”

Taeil laughed, turning blow Donghyuck’s hair off his forehead. “I mean if you want. Don’t you have more important things to be doing, superstar?

Donghyuck let out a whine, lips curling into a pout. “I’m supposed to be going to Japan for a few shows after New Year. I’ve been dreading it though, it’s all back-to-back shows and interviews. It’s not like idol groups – if I get sick or fuck up there’s no one else to blame or cover for me. So, yeah, I’d rather be with you.”

“Really?” Taeil asked, more confused than ever. He hadn’t thought too much of how Donghyuck handled the industry, he seemed so self-assured and confident in his ability. But then again, he remembered telling sixteen-year-old Donghyuck to fake it till he made it. He wondered in Donghyuck remember that too. As for spending time together, anything seemed better than an exhausting schedule like that. Taeil didn’t dare hope for it to mean something more. He couldn’t.

Looking up at him with wide, honest, brown eyes, Donghyuck nodded. “Taeilie, do you still not get it?”

And for a heartbeat, one single breath, Taeil thought Donghyuck was going to kiss him. The uncertainty would finally end. He would be able to have an answer, leaving him with an even harder decision.

But he didn’t need to decide whether to kiss Donghyuck back or not, because the moment passed as quickly as it came. A blink of the eye, an exhale of a sigh. Gone. Or maybe Taeil imagined the whole thing.

“You’re my favourite, hyung,” Donghyuck said in a high voice, full aegyo, nuzzling his head into Taeil’s shoulder. Taeil didn’t push him away. He never could. Sighing, Donghyuck added in a softer voice, “just because I’m older now doesn’t mean I love you less. I’ll probably love you till the day I die.”

Taeil was sure Donghyuck, with his head practically on his chest, could hear his heart skip a beat. If this were anyone else there’d be no question about intention, no grasping at true meanings. Their history, so woven together only to part ways – and now to be reunited made this complicated, impossible for Taeil to discern one form of love from another. 

Biting his lip, Taeil ran a hand over Donghyuck’s hair. “I think it’s time to turn off the lights and sleep, Hyuck.”

“Okay, hyung,” Donghyuck said, in the same soft, vulnerable voice. “Will you stay?”

The words were are out of Taeil’s mouth before he could properly weigh the consequences. “Of course.”

Donghyuck was hurt, drunk, and exhausted. He was missing his family. He had the constant pressure of fame looming. Regardless of the intent of his words, Taeil wouldn’t go seeking answers in this tender state. Too much was at stake. Including his own heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they finally kiss in the next chapter ok I swear


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof cw smutish content .... i suck a smut tho so did my best to avoid~ lol also happy new year I really am trying to finish this as quickly as possible  
> also thank you for all the comments I will try to respond to them later but I really appreciate them all <3  
> as per usual ignore mistakes I will edit LATER

**December 28**

Behind the rising steam of his tea, Donghyuck glared at his phone by the window. It was ringing. Again.

“Are you sure you don’t want to answer that?”

“Positive.”

“Do you even know who it is?” Taeil asked, quirking a brow. “It could be your brother.”

“It’s not.” Donghyuck sipped his tea with a frown. Taeil had brought it and sat in confusion as the younger man held it with an iron grip and ignored his ringing cell phone. “It’s my manager.”

“Oh.” Taeil hadn’t heard anything about his manager before now. “Shouldn’t you… talk to them?”

The phone quit ringing.

“No,” Donghyuck huffed dramatically. “I was promised they wouldn’t try to contact me until the new year. Yet, every day, at exactly this time they call. I answered it the first time and they just wanted to talk about stuff that could wait. And it will continue to wait!”

“Okay,” Taeil laughed. He did his best to ignore the feeling in his chest whenever Donghyuck looked his way. As they were still alone, it was a near-impossible task. “Fair enough. How’s the knee?”

Pulling up his sweatpants, Donghyuck shrugged. “Bruised. Less swollen. Not broken. I shall live to see another day.”

Taeil let out a yawn. He hadn’t slept well after his Realization™. It didn’t help that he had Donghyuck wrapped around him, as much as his banged-up knee would allow. Taeil had spent the better part of the night running over the past week and putting together the pieces. The puzzle still was incomplete. Maybe upside down? The other portion of the night was spent appreciating how cute Donghyuck was when he slept. Needless to say, but he had slept very little.

“And what shall we do on this day?”

“I was thinking of having a bath,” Donghyuck said, setting down his empty cup. He flashed a mischievous grin. “Care to join me?

Taeil laughed as he helped Donghyuck into the bathroom, despite his protests he was fine. Before he had simply appreciated Donghyuck for being himself. Now, Taeil wanted to bask in teasing, soak up the affection. There was a comfort in knowing that he cared for someone radiant as the dawn in August, and Donghyuck would never leave him cold. His smile could charm away the darkest nights. Quell every single one of Taeil’s fears. And that, perhaps, was what scared Taeil the most.

“Need help with your clothes?” He asked, turning on the bath. It, like everything else at the chalet, was huge.

Donghyuck had already pulled his shirt off and proceeded to fling it at Taeil, hitting him directly in the face. “Hyung, don’t tease me!”

Cheeks heating, Taeil played up his reaction to hide his true embarrassment at the implications. That and Donghyuck’s bare skin was suddenly a lot to handle. “I didn’t mean it like that! You’re injured! Don’t play the victim!”

Donghyuck dramatically put a hand to his forehead, raising an arm to cover his bare chest. “Oh, in my hour of weakness I was tempted! A man with the voice of an angel and the ass of a god-”

“If you need anything, call out!” Taeil shook his head, shutting the bathroom door behind him. Donghyuck wasn’t making this easy. He needed a better plan to deal with all of this until Johnny and his parents arrived. His best friend knew him well, and Taeil feared what Johnny might be able to read what had developed over the holidays. How would he explain himself?

He headed outside to get the ski equipment they had abandoned the day prior. With that leaning against the chalet, he went back inside to his own room. He grabbed a fresh change of clothes and headed into his bathroom for a quick shower.

When he was done, Donghyuck’s room was still empty and the bathroom door shut. The soft sound of singing could be heard from within. Taeil laid down on the bed, exhausted. He closed his eyes, listening to Donghyuck singing to himself. He really was a good singer, and Taeil would know. But without an audience, there was a bit more soul to the sound, something more intimate, more vulnerable. Taeil remembered once reading about the word  _ amateur _ , how it meant to do something for the love of it. Though Donghyuck filled stadiums with his voice, Taeil couldn’t help but think that like this, singing to himself in the bath, the love for it shone through. It made his heart swell and a smile creep across his face.

At some point, he must have fallen asleep because he woke to Donghyuck with wet hair in a fluffy white robe sitting down on the bed next to him. He smelled of citrus and summer. He smelled like everything Taeil could ever want.

“Sleep, hyung,” Donghyuck said softly. A warm hand stroked Taeil’s hair, one tender, languid motion. “It’s just us here. Sleep.”

+

It was afternoon by the time Taeil woke. Donghyuck was sitting in bed next to him playing on his phone, the icepack on his knee looking in need of replacement.

He rolled onto his stomach, cracking his back, gaze landing on Donghyuck. “How are you feeling?”

“Oh, you’re awake,” Donghyuck smiled. “I’m good. How are you feeling, sleeping beauty?”

“Good,” Taeil sat up and stretched. “You shouldn’t have let me sleep so long. We wasted the day.”

“It’s fine. I don’t mind.”

Taeil reached out and touched the ice pack. It was warm. “I’ll go get you a new one. You should keep the swelling down.” He lifted it and looked at the bruise below, shaking his head as he stood.

“It’s fine, hyung.” Donghyuck grabbed his sleeve, stopping Taeil from leaving. “It’s not even swollen anymore. I swear it doesn’t hurt. Just lay back down and relax.”

The memory of Donghyuck falling, the snow flying, him laying there in the snow replayed in his mind. Taeil wet his lip, trying to pull away. He couldn't let this drop. “It’s my fault though. Let me take care of you.”

“Hyung, stop beating yourself up about it,” Donghyuck said with new determination, looking up at him. “It was an  _ accident  _ . We were both having fun and I wiped out. It’s a bruise. I’ve had way worse, trust me, okay? Trust me.”

“I do.”

And the scary thing was, Taeil did trust Donghyuck. Something many would consider foolish considering the younger man was just as capricious as he was charismatic. But he was Donghyuck’s favourite, and Taeil realized, Donghyuck was his.

Defeated, he leaned in to lay a kiss to Donghyuck’s brow, but before he could, Donghyuck had his face between his hands and was pressing Taeil’s parted lips to his. Taeil gasped into the kiss, equal parts shock and pleasure. It was impossible to tell how long it lasted, three beats or three hundred? When they broke apart Donghyuck had a sheepish grin plastered across his face.

“What are you doing?” Taeil asked, hummingbird heartbeat pounding in his chest. “Why-”

“I’m so sorry,” Donghyuck gasped, eyes wide. His hands dropped from Taeil’s face, hovering in the air between them, static and unsure. “I...I just needed to do that. At least once.”

Taeil’s mind was awhirl.  _ Donghyuck wanted him _ . And maybe a part of Taeil had always known it, deep down. It had been brushed aside, laughed off, adored but not acknowledged. He was six years older, had never even considered his best friend’s little brother to be something more. Yet here they were, closer than he’d ever thought possible, and he too wanted Donghyuck. Time, after all, changed everything.

“Hyung, you’re scaring me. Say something.”

Slowly, he sat back down on the bed. Adrenaline pumping through his veins, Taeil reached out and tucked a stray hair behind Donghyuck’s ear. He ran his thumb slowly across Donghyuck’s jaw. There was stubbled on his skin, rough and another reminder that there wasn’t a boy before him, but a man.

Taeil drew closer. Their lips were a breath apart. He waited for confirmation, for proof of want for more. His eyes flickered from Donghyuck’s lips to his eyes which shone like stars. Not the stars - something closer, more tangible, in this galaxy, at the centre of it.

He dared not move as Donghyuck leaned closer, pressed himself to Taeil. A hand on Taeil’s shoulder, one on his waist. His skin was tender, aching at the soft asking touch of Donghyuck.

“Hyung?”

“Are you sure?” Taeil whispered, the question laced with fear of the answer. They were cliffside, and if they jumped, there was no going back. 

The response came without hesitation. “Of nothing else.”

That’s all it took. With lips of honey and eyes like fire tempting him, Taeil allowed himself to give in to the pull of Donghyuck’s orbit. He would gladly burn up and be torn to shreds if that’s what it took to have this one afternoon together.

He leaned into Donghyuck as they kissed, a tender uncertainty quickly turning hungry. A thigh ended up on either side of Donghyuck’s hips, Taeil soaking up his ever-increasing heat. He relished the taste of Donghyuck’s lips, his mouth, a curious tongue meeting his own, making him shudder.

They stilled. Their lips lingered, brushing against each other and nothing more.

“Hyung,” came the familiar call. Finger dug into the meat of Taeil's thighs in anticipation. “Please don’t stop now.”

There was no chance of that. But Taeil was going to savour this.

His fingers mapped soft golden skin by instinct. Along Donghyuck’s jaw, his neck, his bare chest. A wash of goosebumps shadowed his touch. His lips were quick to follow, pressing a soft kiss into each mole from the top of Donghyuck’s cheekbone, to beside his nose, above his lip, then down to the centre of his throat, venerating each one properly. Each kiss tightened the grip on Taeil's thighs, but he didn't care. He would wear the marks with pride.

“Hyung, please,” came the breathless plea when Taeil connected their lips once more. He drank in Donghyuck’s kiss like it was an oasis and he was a man who’d spent years wandering the desert. Perhaps he had in some ways. There was little chance of finding what you were searching for if it wasn’t ready to be found yet. 

“I don’t know what you want,” Taeil murmured against Donghyuck’s lips, chest rising and falling in staccato. “How you want this.”

“I don’t care,” Donghyuck said, lifting his body into Taeil needily. Racing heart matched racing heart. The robe he was somehow still wearing did little to hide his desire. The words were also a reminder that Donghyuck had never been good at making up his mind when presented with many options. “As long as it’s you.”

It was easy to push aside the robe to reveal Donghyuck’s broad shoulders. Kisses were pressed into soft skin; teeth dragged across muscle. When Taeil drew back, he realized he didn’t mind Donghyuck with these kinds of bruises. 

The knot in the robe’s waistband never stood a chance.

Taeil leaned back, drinking in the sight below him. The light of the afternoon sun streaked across Donghyuck’s naked body, flushed with want and marked as his. It cast shadows in the gentle curves of definition on his stomach and his chest, in his collarbone. Rosebud lips were parted as Donghyuck breathed heavily, accompanied by the familiar sight of front teeth peeking through. There was nothing else Taeil could ever want.

“You’re so beautiful,” he grinned down at Donghyuck, running a hand slowly from the box in his throat, down his sternum, over his navel, stopping where dark coarse hair met Taeil's fingertips. “Do you even know how lovely you are?”

“ _ Hyung _ ,” Donghyuck grabbed at his waist, impatient as ever. “If you don’t take your fucking clothes off this instant, I will  _ rip  _ them off you.”

Taeil couldn’t help the laugh that escaped his kiss-swollen lips. “Slow down, Hyuckie. There’s no rush.”

His words fell on deaf ears. Donghyuck’s eager hands were pushing Taeil’s shirt to his chest. He leaned forward, pressing kiss after kiss to Taeil’s stomach. “I’ve been waiting long enough. So long. Come  _ on _ .”

Taeil pulled his shirt over his head, not caring where it fell. Donghyuck’s attention was shifting lower, fingers clumsy with enthusiasm undoing the metal button of his pants.

“ _ Jeans _ , hyung?” He demanded, sounding offended as he yanked them down, taking Taeil’s boxers with them.

“It’s a chalet,” Taeil shifted, falling beside Donghyuck on the bed to properly kick the offending garments off.

Donghyuck was on top of him in an instant, caging him in. Luckily, he had no intention of escaping. “ _ What _ ?”

“It seemed improper to wear sweatpants at a chalet,” he said distractedly, reaching a hand to the nape of Donghyuck’s neck, pulling him in for a kiss.

“Hyung, wear whatever you want,” Donghyuck laughed against his mouth. “Fucking wear nothing. I won’t mind.”

It was Taeil who reached for Donghyuck first, took him hot and wanting into his hand. It wasn’t hard to pull out a gasp, a shudder, a wanton moan. And well, Donghyuck had never been a quiet person. Taeil hadn’t expected him to start now.

+

Outside the sun was descending behind mountain tops. Soon they would be left in darkness, but there was no hiding what they had done. Gradually, Taeil was awakening again, becoming aware of his nakedness, and of Donghyuck’s. Honey brown hair on white pillows. Skin on skin on skin. Legs twisted in sheets, around each other. 

He felt no regret. Confusion, yes, and a kaleidoscope of butterflies fluttering within him. There was no turning back but he didn’t want to.

Donghyuck was awake, his head on Taeil’s chest. Wandering fingers ghosted over his stomach, following the thin trail of hair below his navel before landing on the ink on his hip. Donghyuck traced the shape of the moon with the pad of his finger almost reverently.

“How long have you had this?”

Searching for his voice, this throat was thick with sleep and still recovering from earlier…exploits. “Uh, I got it when I was your age. It was actually a drunken bet with your brother and some other friends.”

“I like it,” Donghyuck said. “I never thought you were the tattoo type.”

Admittedly, Taeil probably wasn’t. But he didn’t regret it, just like he didn’t regret how he had spent his afternoon. “Didn’t you see it when we were in the hot tub?”

“No! My eyes were squeezed shut tight, hyung. I didn’t think you’d actually give in and strip, but I should have known you’re shameless. You’re the reason I’m like this you know.”

Taeil had kind of figured, but the confirmation still surprised him. “I might have watched what I said around you growing up if I knew you would take everything to heart.”

“Too late for that.” Donghyuck pressed a kiss into his chest, winding their fingers together. “I’m already corrupted and worse than you could ever wish for. Where did you think I learned half that shit?”

The thought of Donghyuck’s previous lovers flickered across his mind. Not anyone specifically, and not jealousy, but the fact they must exist.

“I can’t be your first,” Taeil said, more to himself than Donghyuck after a minute had passed. “You can’t live the life you do and not have experimented. Not with all the people you meet and places you go.”

After a pregnant pause, Donghyuck sighed. “No, I’m not a virgin, hyung,” he confirmed, laughing awkwardly. His hand dropped away from Taeil’s clutch at the duvet, his discomfort obvious. “And I know you’re not, so don’t act all horrified.”

“I’m not horrified,” Taeil answered honestly. “You’re good looking and live a pretty fast-paced life. It’s to be expected.”

A beat passed.

“Remember how I said you haven’t changed at all to me?” Donghyuck asked, sitting up. The lovebites on his shoulders and chest were the colour of the sunset outside, pink tender bruises with purple edging.

“Yeah,” Taeil nodded, looking up at him. “What about it?”

“You know I like you, hyung.”

Taeil lifted a brow. “I deduced that, yes.”

Donghyuck looked out the window and took a deep breath. “When I say I like you, I mean I’ve liked you for as long as I’ve known you. You were my first crush. Now that I'm older it’s different, of course.” He turned to look at Taeil, watching his reaction.

Taeil wet his lips, nodding again. He wanted to hear this, whatever it was.

A pretty blush rose to Donghyuck's cheeks. “You’re filthy and wonderful and more than I could imagine, hyung.”

The words set something ablaze within Taeil. An ache, a want, a promise for this not to be a dream. For this to last. Fear still clung to the consequences of such a desire. But for now, it didn’t matter.

Donghyuck swallowed hard, adam’s apple bobbing as he schooled his features into something more serious. “But I want you to know that long before you ever saw me as more than a kid, before me taking off your clothes was ever a possibility, I fantasized about stripping bare your mind. I wanted to know every secret, everything that made you laugh, what put a fire in your belly. I wanted you in the purest way possible.”

Taeil was stunned by this confession. Not only by the fact Donghyuck had significant feelings for him - but had for  _ years  _ .

“So, no, I’m not a virgin. You’re not my first. But every time someone was kissing my neck and laying me bear, I would fantasize it was  _ you _ . I wish my first would have been you. I just never thought you’d ever want me like that. That I’d always be your best friend’s little brother.”

“Oh, Hyuck.” All he could do was pull Donghyuck close and press a lingering kiss to his forehead. “Sometimes people are meant to be, but it isn’t the right time. People need time to grow and figure shit out on their own. They need time to mature and to explore. To fuck up. Sometimes time apart is what’s needed to give a fresh perspective. To properly appreciate the changes when reunited.”

“And do you?”

“Yes,” Taeil answered, cradling Donghyuck’s head, inhaling his scent. “And it terrifies me in the best way possible.”

  
  
  



	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof filler

**December 29**

Liminality.

It came from the Latin word _limens_ , meaning limit or threshold.

_Moments or periods of transition during which the normal limits to thought, self-understanding and behaviour are relaxed, opening the way to novelty and imagination, construction and destruction.”_

The days between Christmas and New Year's were liminal time. Minutes, hours, and days just disappear. You have all the time in the world, no obligations, or places to go, but it won’t last forever. It can’t. At least, that’s how Taeil felt about whatever was going between himself and Donghyuck. And things were changing.

And there was a _thing_. He wasn’t imagining it, that was clear now. The problem was he wasn’t sure if he should put a stop to it. He never dreamed of something like this happening. That he could see Donghyuck as more than his best friend’s little brother. But he did. And he wasn’t sure if he could stop feeling this way, even if he wanted to.

Taeil woke to warm kisses on the nape of his neck.

“Hyung,” a sweet voice murmured against his sensitive skin. Donghyuck’s lips dragged across his skin, stopping to kiss the naked spot behind Taeil’s ear. He could feel Donghyuck inhale, breathing him in as he held him close. “Taeilie. My love. My moon.”

“Morning,” Taeil whispered, a smile already on his face.

The arms around his waist squeezed him tight, Donghyuck pressing against his back, every curve of his body moulding into Taeil’s own. He supposed he had completed the puzzle now. It hadn’t been an answer he’d been expecting. A first crush, an always crush. A love that was pure and whole and Taeil was unsure if he was deserving. Donghyuck had been happy to let him live his life without his intrusion, just accepting his happiness as enough.

But things had shifted, irrevocably.

Wiggling out of Donghyuck’s grip to turn to face him, chest to chest, he was met with a honey-sweet smile. “Hi, my favourite hyung.”

“Hi, my favourite Hyuckie.”

“That’s not fair.” Donghyuck’s smile dropped into a pout. “I’m your _only_ Hyuckie. When I say you’re my favourite, I mean favourite everything.”

Taeil’s thumb stroked a tan cheekbone. “What do you mean?”

“My favourite _everything_ ,” Donghyuck repeated. “My favourite lips to make smile. To kiss. My favourite laugh to make myself a fool for. My favourite voice to hear singing, my favourite hands to watch dance across piano keys or feel on my skin. You’re my favourite way to spend a day. Do you get it, now?”

There’d been people who had disliked Donghyuck growing up, saying he was too intense, too dramatic, _too much_. Taeil had always dismissed the complaints. Donghyuck was Donghyuck, being any other way would be wrong. But Taeil understood how people could be intimated, scared by it. Luckily, he had thicker skin. He had years to acclimate to this kind of intensity.

“I think so,” he chuckled, leaning in, and kissing him. Donghyuck burned up with passion, but Taeil was a steadily flowing river, could temper and balance it all. “I don’t know if I deserve it but understand what you’re saying.”

The truth was he doubted he deserved such high praise. Donghyuck had placed him on such a high pedestal for so long. But he was only a man. He was as flawed as the next person. To be loved like this was nothing short of terrifying, and it wasn’t that he doubted if Donghyuck’s affections were genuine, but he was so young. How could he know what love was? And Taeil was just Taeil.

“My family isn’t going to be here until New Year's Eve. Shut up and kiss me, hyung.”

They spent a good part of the morning beneath the sheets, exchanging equally shy and curious touches. Lips pressed into each vertebra, up forearms, up the insides of thighs. There was nowhere to be, nothing to do but drink each other in, savour this precious time. There wasn’t the same heat as the day before, this was something different, almost innocent if Donghyuck’s wide eyes hadn’t been accompanied by a devilish grin.

At some point Taeil emerged, stretching his arms above him. “Why don’t you go make something to eat while I shower?”

“I could do that, yeah.”

He checked his phone, tossed it back onto the nightstand and got up. He was hoping for something savoury, spicy meat of some kind maybe. A dozen little side dishes. Maybe he could have ice cream for dessert, teasing Donghyuck with offering him a spoonful and then eating it himself.

Except, Donghyuck followed him into the bathroom.

“Can I help you?” Taeil asked, crossing his arms. The annoyance would have been more convincing if the corner of his mouth wasn’t twitching up in amusement. “What about my breakfast?”

Donghyuck took a step closer, making a show of dragging his eyes up and down Taeil. They had found clothes sometime before falling asleep properly last night, but that didn’t deter Donghyuck from undressing him with his eyes. The devilish grin earlier hadn’t disappeared. “What about _my_ breakfast?”

“I’m going to shower, Hyuck.” He grabbed a towel and set it on the hook beside the glass wall of the shower to make his point. Whatever switch had flipped inside Donghyuck yesterday turned the constantly affectation man into something much worse. At least, when Taeil wanted breakfast.

“Well, I could use a shower too,” Donghyuck said, not moving. “I mean, there’s probably all sorts of dried-”

“Whatever,” Taeil choked out a laugh, leaning into the shower. He turned it on, then stepped back to remove his boxers and shirt. He wasn’t sure if it was the cool air or Donghyuck’s steady stare that made goosebumps rise on his skin.

Naked, he turned to Donghyuck. “Well?”

He gestured towards the shower. “You first, hyung.”

Rolling his eyes, Taeil stepped inside. It was the biggest shower he’d ever used. Like everything at the chalet, it was luxurious with exposed stone and showerhead as wide as a sunflower coming from above, one from an angle with the thick flow of a small waterfall, and a long detachable one to the side of the wall. Why anyone needed all three was beyond him.

The water was as warm as a lover’s embrace and fell down Taeil’s skin in thick rivulets. It pooled in his collarbones, cascaded down his breastbone to his stomach, dipped into his navel, streaked to his hips.

“Are you going to join me?” He finally asked, running a hand through his wet hair to push it off his face. He wasn’t subconscious, easy confidence marking all that he did, but it was unnerving being watched like this.

A shit-eating grin had spread across Donghyuck’s face and he nodded. He pulled his shirt over his head and kicked off his shorts, putting a hand on the steaming glass wall of the shower before stepping inside.

Taeil reached for a bottle of body wash, turned to offer some to Donghyuck, only to find him kneeling. In front of him.

Before Taeil could do anything, Donghyuck reached around and grabbed his ass, pulling him even closer. He pressed a kiss to hip bone, the tattoo, before looking up at Taeil with hooded, dangerous eyes.

A nervous chuckle escaped him. “Be careful of your knee!” He chastised. “What exactly are you doing?” It was less convincing as his dick twitched in interest, making Donghyuck’s lips curl up into a smirk.

“Hyung, please,” Donghyuck said with an exasperated sigh and a pat on the ass. If the situation was different, Taeil might have laughed. “What I’m doing now… what I’m planning to do to you later… It’d be easier to ask what I _didn’t_ want to do to you.”

“ _Oh_ ,” Taeil gasped. He wasn’t sure if it was from Donghyuck’s salacious words or the fact without a second thought Donghyuck had his dick in his mouth. And it turned out that talking shit was only the second-best thing Donghyuck could do with his mouth. Who would have thought singing was a top-charting artist’s third-best skill?

If all the remaining time before New Year's Eve was going to be spent like this, Taeil wasn’t going to mind losing minutes, hours, and or days. He would gladly get lost with Donghyuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok we gonna have a lil angst then wrap this up I need to move on lol


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is rly flat ill fix it when i edit later lmao im sorry

**December 30**

Despite what seemed to be Pangea ending, continent creating scale shift in their relationship, it quickly became apparent that besides the more carnal things, not that much had changed. Donghyuck still came up from behind and hugged him, planting wet kisses on his cheek. They still cooked together, laughing at the other’s foolishness. They still slept with limbs intertwined and fingers laced. Honestly, Taeil was beginning to worry about how he had not picked up on Donghyuck’s feelings for him. But how was he to know that the years of casual affection actually added up to more?

Knee bruised but otherwise fine, Donghyuck was eager to get back to skiing, quelling any of Taeil’s worries of lasting damage. He really did seem to be fine.

They were an hour out in the snow when Donghyuck slowed beside him, a pensive look on his face. “Hyung, can I ask you something?”

“Always.” He had answered enough of Donghyuck questions in the past few days to fill a book. Another wouldn’t hurt.

“How come you never dated anyone?”

That Taeil had not been expecting. He swerved around a fallen branch. “What do you mean? I’ve dated people.”

“Yeah, but never for long. Never seriously.” Donghyuck countered, sounding entirely too knowledgeable on the subject. “Johnny’s even commented on it, how you never let yourself get into something real.”

It hadn’t occurred to Taeil that his dating habits were something his best friend thought much about, let alone made comments about to his brother. But then again, Donghyuck could have been fishing, given recent revelations.

“I dated this one girl for a while,” Taeil said. “She was in my program at uni. She was fucking brilliant,  _ is _ fucking brilliant. Pretty and smart, I could talk to her for hours about music. Still do, but we’re just friends now.”

“But?”

“I don’t know,” Taeil shrugged, throwing an aloof glance over his shoulder. “I liked her, but I just couldn’t see forever with her, you know? I didn’t think it was fair to her to keep dating when I didn’t see her that way. I guess I was waiting.”

“For what?”

“Someone who I would never get bored with. Who I could spend quiet evenings with. Someone whose own laugh would make me laugh when we’re old and the fun of sex long gone. I guess, really, my issue was just that she wasn’t my best friend, and she never was going to be. Which is fine, but why we broke up.”

Donghyuck looked at him with eyes that could have melted the mountainside. “And are you still waiting?”

“I don’t know. It’s not that simple.”

“Isn’t it?” Donghyuck’s brows knitted together. “I’ve laid my heart bare for you, hyung. What is complicated about that?”

“Hyuck, you’re twenty. Your career is just taking off. Whatever this is can be simple, fun in the snow, cold fingers on warm stomachs. But when the year ends you’ve got your songs to sing and I have my classes to teach.” Taeil shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe in another life things could be different. I’m not dismissing your feelings, because they’re real for you. It’s just I-”

“ _ Stop talking. _ ” Donghyuck angled his skis, spraying snow behind him until he too, was stopped. “Stop talking, hyung. I don’t want to hear you talking about shit you don’t understand.” He took off down another trail. “I’ll see you back at the chalet.”

Watching as Donghyuck’s figure grew smaller as he skied away, Taeil realized he had, in fact, fucked up. Like, properly made a mess of things. With someone who he adored and was also a known dramatic bitch. This was going to be fun to fix.

“Shit.”

In the past when Donghyuck had been mad at him (or Johnny) Taeil had always apologized and then let him pout it off. Eventually, Donghyuck’s need for physical affection would overpower him and he would come and pout while cuddling and eventually things would be okay. Taeil wasn’t sure that was going to work this time.

With a sigh, Taeil pushed off down the trail. Maybe he could make some hot chocolate as a peace offering. It would be a place to start.

He made it back to the chalet before Donghyuck, leaning his ski equipment against the wall and heading inside. He wasn’t used to people being mad or upset with him. The last thing had wanted to do was hurt Donghyuck, surely the younger man knew that. And he hadn’t meant to put a damper on things, he was just speaking his mind. What did Donghyuck expect to transpire between them after this vacation ended? Did he expect them to be boyfriends? How would they explain that to Johnny, to his parents? To Donghyuck’s millions of fans?

He made the hot chocolate and sat at the island in the kitchen, once again taking in its extravagance. Donghyuck was the one who was paying for all of this. He was the one living a completely different kind of life from Taeil’s own, simple one.

The voice in the back of his mind was prodding him though. They had spent ten days together. They’d laughed more than some people did in ten years. It was so easy being with Donghyuck. It always had been. Maybe Taeil was the problem. Maybe he shouldn’t fight Donghyuck on this, let them enjoy it while it lasted. Maybe it  _ would _ last. Taeil wished things could be different. Easier.

Ten minutes later the front door of the chalet slammed shut and a snow-covered Donghyuck appeared. He was sweating, clearly having taken out his feelings on the mountainside trails. He tossed his winter gear onto the floor and then froze when he saw Taeil waiting for him.

“I made you hot chocolate.” He said, pointing at the steaming cup on the island in front of the empty bar stool.

Donghyuck glared at the mug. “Thank you, hyung.” He stalked over, sat down, and took a sip. With a frown, he added, “It’s delicious.”

Something in Taeil’s chest twisted. He really fucking adored Donghyuck. Even when he was mad, Taeil couldn’t help but find him cute. He wanted to kiss that frown off his face and make him laugh, push all of this misunderstanding behind them.

Silence filled the kitchen.

Finally, Taeil relented. “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“I know,” Donghyuck snapped. “But you  _ did _ .”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what, hyung?” Donghyuck demanded. “Sorry that you want me back? Sorry that you don’t want to date me? Sorry for letting me believe otherwise?”

"Hyuck…” Taeil searched for the words. “If things were different… if you weren’t you and if I weren’t me…”

Donghyuck looked at him, dark eyes ablaze. “Maybe you need to stop fantasizing about running away to live another life. Because  _ I’m right here _ , hyung. You need to start figuring out the life you have and what you want from it. I’m not going to make you love me. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. But I need you to decide if this was just a fun holiday fling for you, or something more. Because I know what it meant to me.”

“It isn’t that easy.”

Setting his mug down on the counter with a bang, Donghyuck let out a dark laugh, one Taeil had never heard before. “I’ve known you for a long time. I thought I knew you well. And I never pegged you for a coward, hyung.”

It was as if Donghyuck slapped him across the face. That would have hurt less.

“You don’t get it,” Taeil said softly. “ _ You _ deserve better. You have the whole world on a platter, your whole life ahead of you. It shouldn’t be  _ me  _ you choose.”

Without warning, Donghyuck stood, stalked around the island and took Taeil’s face in his hands. “Look at me hyung,” Donghyuck demanded. Swallowing hard, Taeil looked into Donghyuck’s wildfire eyes. “I don’t care if I deserve better. I don’t care about any of it but you. I want  _ you _ .”

Donghyuck kissed him then, his lips hot, unhurried, and determined. “I’ve been waiting the better part of my life for you to realize I’m in fucking love with you, you idiot. There is nothing else I could ever want. There’s no one better than you.”

Taeil’s breath caught in his throat as he looked into his favourite pair of eyes. “How can you know that?”

“I’ve been around the world and met more people than I can ever remember. You are the only one who’s managed to build a home in my heart.” Donghyuck paused, pink tongue wetting lips chapped from the cold. “If there was ever a chance of you being replaced there, it’s surely passed.  _ You _ are the only one. If anything, I don’t deserve you. So, yeah, I’ll have you if you’ll just agree to have me.”

Taeil laughed. There was nothing else he could do. “Fine. You win. I’ll be yours if you’ll be mine.”

“Good.” Donghyuck kissed him again. He tasted like home. “And if you ever say anything about being undeserving again, I’ll fucking argue with you till you wish you never said anything at all,” Donghyuck said with a pout. “I’d rather fight with you than laugh with anyone else. So, don’t test me, hyung.”

“You’re so dramatic,” Taeil breathed against his lips. “You’re lucky you’re my soulmate.”

“Are you going to make it up to me? For making me sad?” Donghyuck asked, pulling back.

Taeil lifted a brow. “Haven’t I?”

“No,” Donghyuck took his hand and pulled Taeil down the hall. “You don’t get off that easily. Not till I get off.”

They laughed until it hurt. They kissed until it didn’t hurt anymore. They whispered promises until their voices gave out.

In the dark their lips bumped together clumsily, both of them smiling too much to care. Sated and content, Taeil took comfort in knowing he had made the right choice. There would be challenges ahead sure, but they would face them together, hand in hand.

But he wasn’t looking forward to the first one. Which would be facing his best friend.

  
  
  



	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol if you made it this far thanks for reading I'm sorry I cannot post things on time lmao

**December 31**

When a Jeep pulled up to the Chalet with Johnny behind the wheel, Taeil hadn’t realized how little hope he had been holding onto that his best friend would ever show up. A different kind of warmth spread in his chest as he headed outside – only for him to be pushed aside by an excited Donghyuck racing past him.

“You made it!” He called, throwing his arms around his parents. “I missed you!”

Johnny was grinning when he got out of the vehicle he walked over and mussed up Donghyuck’s hair. He laughed and opened his arms for a hug of his own.

“I had almost given up hope,” Taeil said as his best friend let go of his brother to crush Taeil in his embrace.

“Ah, never,” Johnny said. “I wasn’t going to leave you at Donghyuck’s mercy forever.” He pulled back to look at Taeil again. “Nice earrings by the way.”

Taeil rolled his eyes, a flush creeping across his face. “He insists I wear them.”

“They look good,” Johnny said, eyes scanning his face. “You look good. Happy.”

Taeil didn’t see the point denying it, opening the back of the jeep to grab their luggage. “I am.”

“Ah, Taeil,” Johnny’s mother smiled at him as they ascended the stairs to the door, a suitcase in either hand. She looked a ridiculous amount like her son but significantly shorter. “Always so helpful. No doubt you’ve been taking good care of Donghyuck in our absence.”

Taeil held open the door for them and hoped his anxiety didn’t show. “Always.”

It was easy after that. Johnny’s family had always adored him, made him feel wanted and welcome. They shared a big meal, Taeil helping out in the kitchen. It was nice not to have to  _ try _ to be something he wasn’t, just to impress Donghyuck’s family. It made everything a bit easier, not having to try to prove himself. In other ways, it made everything a bit more complicated – these people had known him for years. How would they react when they found out that he and Donghyuck…

“Presents!” Donghyuck called, pushing everyone into the living room. They all seemed less impressed with how bougie the chalet was, but still, comments had been made about the view. This was why they had travelled so far, they might as well appreciate it while they could.

“Look at that tree!” Johnny’s mother gasped, pulling out her phone to take a photo. “It’s huge! I can’t believe you two did this yourselves.”

“I wanted it to feel like Christmas,” Donghyuck explained, arms full of wrapped gifts. Despite being a millionaire popstar, each present was clearly wrapped by a twenty-year-old boy. Too much tape, not enough paper in spots, too much paper on others. Taeil thought it was endearing. “Now sit down and open your presents!”

Johnny plopped down on the couch with a cup of steaming coffee, spreading his legs wide. “Not like any of these will top Taeil’s, but sure. Let’s open and be merry.”

“Don’t be jealous, hyung,” Donghyuck chastised, throwing two gifts with red bows at his brother with a bit too much strength. Johnny flinched when they hit with satisfying thuds. “It isn’t cute.”

Once everyone was seated with their gifts, the room was filled with the sound of ripping wrapping paper. Taeil watched in amusement, curled up in an armchair by the fireplace. Donghyuck sat on the chair’s arm, a grin plastered across his face.

Johnny opened Taeil’s present first. He quickly was trying on the jacket and checking himself out in the reflection of the windows. “Sweet! Love it, dude.”

"Ah, how thoughtful!” Donghyuck’s father said, trying on the slippers.

“It’s not much,” Taeil said with a shrug. If he had known he was shopping for his boyfriend’s parents he might have put more thought into it. Alas. “I tried to be practical.”

“It’s much appreciated.” Johnny’s mother already had her new slippers on.

"Ah, hyung is so kind,” Donghyuck cooed, leaning into Taeil. There was an instantaneous urge to lean away or push him off, something Taeil had never experienced before. Was it because things between them were different now? But it wasn’t like Donghyuck hadn’t always been touchy. Taeil resisted the urge, letting Donghyuck cuddle up to him as he had for years. Besides, he kind of loved it.

Once all the presents were opened everyone began to talk, catching up on their time apart. It didn’t last too long, Donghyuck standing and carefully clasping his hands in front of his chest. Everyone stopped to look at him.

“There’s something you need to know,” Donghyuck said with a dramatic sigh. He paused. “I’m in love with Taeil-hyung.”

“Yes, sweetie,” Johnny’s mother took a bite of a chocolate she had received, not even blinking. “We all know.”

Taeil’s eyes widened. “ _ You do?” _

“ _ Everyone  _ knows that already,” Johnny commented, rolling his eyes. “He’s been making us give at least one-hour warnings whenever you are coming over or going to a mutual event. Why do you think he would get mad at me whenever you would stop by unannounced? As if I had control over that!”

Now that Johnny mentioned it, Taeil did seem to recall random and seemingly unprovoked outbursts. He had always just assumed that was Donghyuck being dramatic and a teenager. Huh.

“Now, Jon,” Donghyuck’s father raised a hand. “Let the boy speak. He clearly has something to say.”

“Thank you!” Donghyuck shot his brother a dirty look. “As I was saying, I am in love with Taeil. And although climate change is scary and caused a freakish snowstorm that kept my family from me during the holidays, I must give thanks!”

Johnny’s mother lifted a brow skeptically. “To climate change?”

“To scary changes in the weather that the world is not equipped to deal with?” Asked his father.

“To be given the chance to harass poor Taeil for almost two weeks?” Johnny asked.

Donghyuck lifted a fist to the sky in dramatic triumph. “To Taeil-hyung finally seeing me more than his best friend’s little brother and for the hot piece of ass I am!”

Everyone’s gaze turned to Taeil.

His cheeks burned, but all he could do was shrug. There was no denying it, not after that declaration. “What? It was an interesting twelve days of Christmas.”

“Shit, dude,” Johnny snorted. “Clearly. And here I was thinking you two were just skiing.”

‘Furthermore!” Donghyuck walked over and draped himself around Taeil from behind the chair. “He has managed not to be scared off by the self-confessed longevity of my affection.”

“And?” Prompted Johnny’s mother.

Donghyuck pressed a wet kiss to Taeil’s cheek. “Johnny needs to share Taeil now!”

“Whatever,” Johnny took a sip of his coffee and shrugged in his new jacket. “It’s not like I haven’t already been sharing him.”

Donghyuck’s father shifted his gaze between the two of them and Taeil had the urge to run, just briefly. “Taeil, is this true?”

“Uh, yes, sir.”

The older man nodded slowly. “I see. Well, as you are Johnny’s friend and I have known you long enough to know that you are not after my son’s money nor scared of his… energy. And you are relatively settled and successful, I suppose that’s all I could ask for as a parent.”

“Appa!”

“Taeil knows we all like him,” Donghyuck’s father chided. “I mean, he’s practically family.”

“ _ Yeah  _ ,” Donghyuck countered, eyes widening for effect. “And if I play my cards right, he  _ will be  _ by this time next year, so don’t be rude!”

Taeil choked on his coffee. “ _ What _ ?”

Donghyuck patted his shoulder and gave him a fond look. “Don’t worry about your pretty little head about it, hyung.”

Overall, telling his best friend and Donghyuck’s parents about them being together went much easier than Taeil had anticipated. It had helped that apparently everyone – including Johnny, already knew Donghyuck was in love with him. If he was being honest, Taeil felt kind of betrayed. But also, a bit dense. Which was an unusual feeling for someone who had his masters and taught at a university. 

+

Later, Taeil was cleaning up in the kitchen (trying to get in good with the family even though he clearly didn’t need to) when Johnny finally approached him alone.

“So,” Johnny said, lifting his brows meaningfully. “You finally clued into the fact my little brother is head over heels with you.”

“Yup.” Taeil laughed awkwardly. He rinsed the dishtowel under hot water then hung it to dry. “I uh, guess I’ve been pretty oblivious. I mean, now that I know everyone else has known for so long. I kind of wish you had told me.”

“Dude, did mine and Yuta’s teasing you about  _ Hyuckie would think you look cute  _ constantly not click? We’re kind of ruthless.”

“Ah, I thought you were just being a mean older brother and Yuta a supportive friend.”

Opening the fridge, Johnny grabbed two beers, setting one on the counter beside Taeil. Then he leaned against the counter. His gaze fell heavily onto his best friend. “I suppose I ought to give you a talking to, considering you are likely defiling my little brother.”

Leaning against the opposite counter, Taeil gave his best friend a look that read  _ as are you kidding me?  _ He opened his beer and took a long drink.

“Okay,” Johnny relented, “he’s probably the one attacking you. But still. He’s my little brother. And I don’t care that you’re my best friend, I want to make sure that Hyuck doesn’t get hurt. He’s still young. Still foolish. I still have a brotherly right to worry.”

Nodding in understanding, Taeil’s fingers drummed against his beer. “Dude, I get it. I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”

A heavy silence fell. Johnny was his best friend, knew him better than anyone probably. He knew the type of man Taeil was, knew the type of man Donghyuck had grown into. If anyone had concerns or doubts about their relationship, Johnny would hold the only valid ones.

Finally, Johnny let out a breath. “Are you…serious? About this? About him?”

Of all the questions he could have asked, Taeil let out a relieved chuckle. Running a hand through his hair, he nodded. “Yeah. When Donghyuck smiles at me, I see the rest of my life.”

“Shit,” Johnny’s brows lifted. He tipped back his beer. “Well, you don’t need to ask my permission. It’s not like that brat would heed any warning I gave him, anyway.”

Taeil chuckled, tipping his beer towards his best friend in cheers. “That’s your brother for you.”

After that things went back to normal. Taeil showed him skiing videos on his phone, both of them leaning onto the counter.

“Hyungie!” Donghyuck darted into the room and threw his arms around Taeil without warning. “I missed you!”

Johnny sighed, heading towards the fridge for another drink. “But not me?”

Donghyuck stuck his tongue out at his brother and grabbed a handful of Taeil’s ass to make a point. His breath was hot against Taeil’s ear as he whispered, “you were his friend first, but now you’re my love always.”

“You need to stop doing that,” Taeil whispered back, holding back laughter.

Hand grabbing at Taeil’s ass, Donghyuck dramatically widened his eyes. “Doing what?”

“Saying things that make me want to kiss you,” Taeil answered. His eyes flickered to Johnny, who was suddenly very interested in the contents of the fridge. “I don’t think your brother would appreciate it.”

Donghyuck shrugged, then leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’ve seen him do much worse. He can put up with this.”

From his place inside the fridge’s door, Johnny shifted. “Are you two done yet?”

“Never!” Donghyuck shot back.

Taeil laughed, pulling him close and capturing Donghyuck’s lips with his own. He had meant for it to be quick, but Donghyuck had other ideas, pressing their hips together and slipping a tongue in his mouth. When they broke apart, Taeil’s head was spinning. “Ugh, I’ll never be done with you, Hyuckie.”

“Guys, please,” Johnny begged, “it’s cold in here!”

“Just you wait till midnight!” Donghyuck laughed. “I will be kissing your best friend so fucking hard you will be thinking about it all year!”

Closing the fridge door, Johnny turned to them with wide puppy-dog eyes. “Please have some mercy.  _ Please _ , Taeil.”

Taeil laughed, feeling only slightly bad for his best friend. “That’s your brother for you.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok the end they live happily ever after idk what you want from me
> 
> also i would like to add that johnny is much kinder in this fic than MY brother jonny who whenever his friends think i'm hot responds with "talk to her for 5 minutes then you won't"

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/wizardwonu)


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